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“We shouldn't feel bad about taking time to take care of ourselves and burnout. It doesn't just affect us, it affects everybody around us. It affects our job, it affects our productivity, it affects our creativity, it affects our income, it affects our kids, our family, our friends. This is one of those essential pieces that I think gets taken for granted, but if we don't take the time and the intention to do the steps, it won't happen.” - Daniela Wolfe
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Welcome to Imperfection in Progress, a podcast for ambitious women who are people-pleasers, perfectionists, or procrastinators. Want to feel less stress and more joy in your life? Then this is for you. I’m your host Dawn Calvinisti.
In this episode I’m joined by Daniela Wolfe. Daniela helps stressed and burnt-out professionals ditch the guilt and overwhelm; productively manage daily tasks with ease, and have the time and energy for self-care every day! She has been an LMSW for 27 years, focused on self-care, stress management skills, mindfulness, relationships, parenting, and managing all the chaos of life. She is also a working mom of 2. Her mission is to empower you to prioritize yourself on your to-do lists and learn the strategies to makeover your daily life.
You can learn more about Daniela by visiting her website www.bestdlife.com
Our conversation focuses on how we can take time for ourselves without guilt and without losing productivity in order to enjoy life more. If you are looking for practical ways to start the process of self-care then you will find an abundance of simple and easy tips that don’t take a lot of time. I know you are going to love all Daniela has to share.
Here’s our conversation.

Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Dawn Calvinisti: I am excited to introduce you to Daniela Wolfe today on the podcast. Welcome.
[00:00:05] Daniela Wolfe: Hi Dawn, how are you? Thank you so much for having me.
[00:00:08] Dawn Calvinisti: I am great and I am really excited about having this conversation not just around burnout, but around the idea of self-care and making sure we don't head into that area as well. But can you tell us a little bit about why preventing burnout? Why the recognition of burnout has become something that is important to you.
[00:00:28] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. I mean, there's so many reasons besides the fact that personally I've been through my own burnout. About 17 years ago, I was a single working mom with two little kids and wanting to do it all for them, be it all, prove that I was capable of doing everything. I drove myself into the ground, exhausted, irritable, snapping more than I wanted to, and I realized that wasn't who I was.
It wasn't who I wanted my kids and my family to know. And it just really motivated me to want, not only to do differently for myself, but as I saw, as I made my changes, women reaching out to me, sharing things that they were doing or asking how I did things, I think, to see that we're looking for that validation and permission, that it's okay and it's so necessary, but it, that it's okay.
We shouldn't feel bad about taking time to take care of ourselves and burnout, it doesn't just affect us, it affects everybody around us. It affects our job, it affects our productivity, it affects our creativity, it affects our income. Affects our kids, our family, our friends, and so just if our goal, I think we could kind of all agree is to live a happy, healthy, productive life.
This is one of those essential pieces that I think gets taken for granted. Like, I should know how to do it, or I assume it sounds easy, but if we don't take the time and the intention to do the steps, it won't happen.
[00:01:49] Dawn Calvinisti: To all of you who are listening regularly, this is again, another piece of why we need to take time out for ourselves, why self-care actually matters. And I think this is super interesting, Daniela, when, when we don't, I guess, reassess if how we're feeling and how life is moving, if we don't take time to reassess, we often can end up in a state of burnout or awfully close to it before we even recognize that we've gotten there.
[00:02:19] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely, and definitely with a lot of women and and people I talk to as well, I think it gets overlooked and underestimated. Doing things that we love can set us up for burnout. I think we always assume it's something negative and realizing that, when we go all in on our business, our job, our kids, our relationship, we are just as if not at higher risk for burnout because this is something we're passionate about.
So we're a little bit looser with our boundaries. We can isolate ourselves because we're so hyper-focused on it and, and to recognize it. This is essential for everybody, not just someone who is doing a job they don't like or things like that.
[00:02:57] Dawn Calvinisti: I love that you mentioned that. I know just from personal experience, I, I built my network marketing business up to the top 3%, and I did that in under two years. But about 11 months in, I realized I'm loving this, but there is no way I can keep up this pace because this in the long term is gonna be detrimental.
So yeah, it doesn't have to be something you're not enjoying.
[00:03:18] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. And, and part of it is because we lose that, that balance in the other areas of our lives. Sometimes you figure, you go all in. I can remember talking to a new mom and she was like, you're my first adult conversation in four days. Because we cut maybe ourselves off from our friends, we, our activities, our free time, the things we used to do, and whether it's in your job again, your kids, your relationships, those kind of things.
It still can be just as detrimental.
[00:03:44] Dawn Calvinisti: I know we're putting this out at the end of the year, and I think this is a time when almost, I don't know, automatically people are taking on more things, more obligations, more invitations to meet up. Just more pressure at work to maybe get things done before the year ends or if you're an entrepreneur, to wrap up those goals that you had for the year.
And I, it feels like almost naturally we put ourself in a state of push, push, push, push. And there's gotta be a better way for us to go out at the end of the year.
[00:04:15] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. And, and like I was just saying, we, you might love the holidays and so you wanna go all out. Your boundaries have gone out the window because you're saying yes to party, you're cooking extra meals, you're doing all sorts of shopping, and like I said, In short periods of time, obviously it, it can be okay, but when you know the holidays go for several months and things like that, you can absolutely put yourself in a position of burnout.
So just even one of those first things is to recognize, and have that awareness of the fact that this is coming. I know I'm going to be doing extra stuff and almost like to pre decide, well, what, how am I gonna take care of myself? Because waiting until we're in that negative place, when we're exhausted, stressed out, I can remember wrapping gifts till two in the morning kind of times. Knowing ahead of time, you're gonna need to build in some extra things to help sustain you through that time and rethink about maybe the expectations of, you don't have to say yes to every party, people will still be your friend, and things like that is one of those first steps when you're just, you kind of see the holidays looming on the horizon.
[00:05:20] Dawn Calvinisti: I love that you mentioned this because this is something even throughout the year, like when you're looking ahead to next year. There may be months where you know that you're more busy. I know for us, we've got three birthdays in the family in one month, and so that's a busy month. So planning ahead, you're right.
It, that's really important to aware.
[00:05:35] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah, knowing ahead of time, having some of that kind of foresight of what is coming up the road can help you almost work backwards to plan your time rather than trying to manage it forward.
[00:05:47] Dawn Calvinisti: Right. When it comes to becoming aware, are there things that we can, I guess, guess tell ourselves to take off that guilt end of it? Because I think so many times we don't take care of ourselves because we feel like it's selfish or whatever, but guilt seems to come along with it.
[00:06:05] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. And it, it is, a, a mindset thing because nobody else is judging us or speaks as harshly to us as we do ourselves. We would never talk to our girlfriends the way we talk to ourselves. And so rethinking what is the benefit of, of doing something, saying yes to something, as well as even saying no to something.
I've heard of, I forget who said it, the joy of missing out and learning to rethink about you're not necessarily, necessarily missing out. It's the joy of maybe a different type of evening, a quiet night in some personal development. Just kind of pampering yourself for the holidays, giving yourself those gifts along the way because yeah, your mood, your personality, your sleep, your movement, your eating habits, all these things get affected when we're not in a great place.
And so letting go of guilt, sometimes you almost need to look at it from the perspective of, what would I say to my best friend if they came to me with this and re-look at it and it takes some practice to start that new mindset and that new kind of conversation shift in your head. It's almost like a trail in the woods.
You have to go over it a bunch of times before it becomes well worn and an easy path to follow. But once you start doing that, it becomes then easier to fall into. I'm, I'm still a great mom if I don't make 20 Christmas cookies this year.
[00:07:25] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, it definitely is interesting the stories that we tell ourselves about what we should be doing or we have to keep up or it's always been done this way and it really can, can lock us in to obligations that even if we enjoy them, we don't necessarily need to take on.
[00:07:42] Daniela Wolfe: Or even just how to share them, maybe delegate. I think back to my family at least, a lot of my mom and and sisters were stay at home wives and moms, and so they had the time to do those different traditions and cooking things and whatnot. And so instead of having to be one person taking it on, you can delegate half of it to the, the local restaurant that does a great take on your favorite recipe, share it with siblings, cousins, and come together.
So there's ways to kind of adapt and modify. Some of those traditions so you don't feel like you're letting it go or letting things down. But if anything, you're bringing more inclusive and you're bringing more people into the joy of celebrating that tradition rather than it just being work for one person.
[00:08:23] Dawn Calvinisti: When it comes to our, our businesses, especially for entrepreneurs, are there, are there areas where you find that women just feel like they have to do the work? Because if they don't, the end result isn't gonna happen or the success isn't gonna happen?
[00:08:38] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I think it, I think of even, whether it's in our businesses, kids, like nobody can pick out the outfits the same way you think because it, it becomes your baby, your business. At least that's the experience I've found. Our businesses are our babies, and so we have a kind of perception of what we want things to be like, and especially if you're a very highly motivated driven, perfectionist type personality, which a lot of business owners are. We're very highly motivated and driven. We have great passion, and that passion can sometimes narrow how we see the perspective of things being able to get done. And so being able to broaden that perspective of others' opinions, others' styles will help you to let go of some of that, and that's hard. Absolutely. To not necessarily turn things over, but to allow another set of hands in with you. It doesn't always have to be, you step away completely and have given it up. It's about sharing the load.
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[00:09:37] Dawn Calvinisti: I can definitely see as a recovering perfectionist myself, the idea of letting somebody else in can can feel threatening. They're not gonna do it as well as me. I'm the one who knows all of it, but often that's the area that would give you the biggest relief and allow you to go and do the things that you're best at.
[00:09:55] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah, and it's hard because our businesses are our brand. It's our voice, and so when somebody is out there trying to be us and doesn't sound like us it's hard. And so maybe those are the parts you don't let go, but you allow some of the things that don't reflect on your personality as much to be able to be handed off.
[00:10:13] Dawn Calvinisti: That's a good tip. When we are at this point in the year, like we were saying, are there things that we can do as far as taking care of ourselves that. Kind of give us the most bang for the buck.
[00:10:26] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely, and granted, these are great, especially around the holidays because they're not super time intensive. They're not a heavy lift. Even though most of the things I teach are not super time intensive and not a heavy lift because I think we should be integrating self-care throughout our day, every day, kind of micro moments, 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there.
You put them all together. You've got an hour, hour and a half self-care practice potentially every single day, which is perfect to maintaining your wellbeing, but around the holidays, like we said, when you know you're gonna be saying yes to more things, taking on more stress, that first step of acknowledging it so that you are more aware. When we think differently, we're gonna feel differently. When we feel differently, we act differently. So we've gotta think about it first. We've gotta acknowledge the elephant in the room of, I know this is what happens with me during the holidays. I know I get excited and passionate and I go all in.
So I'm going to every day plan these activities. I'm gonna do these things for myself because you can't save up self-care for like a weekend. Think you do an hour or two and it's gonna last all week. That's like eating on Sunday and thinking you'll be fine by Friday. So taking those intentional breaks throughout each day, even if you haven't already been doing it, it might sound like, oh, I'll wait till New Year's, but this is a do now kind of thing. Start taking one minute breaks five times a day, even just for one minute without your device, without anything. Do some breathing, drink some water, do some meditation maybe, or some affirmations.
That small little practice will start to move. You might then add in a little movement during that one minute and walk. You might be more intentional about when you're not at a party, maybe eating a certain way that feels good for you. Sleep is always a big one during the holidays and making sure you focus just on these key areas that you pay attention to all year long that you integrate, but be more intentional, more kind of firmer with your boundaries around it.
Is gonna help you stay more grounded and feel like yourself so you're not trying to recover through half of January. Gratitude, I always think is a great area as well, especially during the holidays, because I think even with those expectations, if we don't meet this right, this moment didn't come out right, the picture wasn't great, our numbers aren't where we want them to be in our business.
Gratitude for the things we have accomplished that we do have will help us stay in that better mindset place, help us moving forward. If you're noticing the good versus noticing the bad you're gonna keep noticing the good. It's kind of like the red car theory. You think you're gonna go buy a red car and all of a sudden you see them, everything.
You're activating their reticular activating system and so it just helps you kind of be more consciously aware of those positive things to keep you going. Being aware of your physical needs. That's a big one. Sometimes we don't notice until we're in a negative place, but if we're more conscious ahead of time, that'll help us as well. And that's just a couple. Didn't wanna overwhelm you.
[00:13:26] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, I mean there's a lot that we can do, but I love that you give just some really practical, I mean, even if you picked one of these and started to work with it, right? To see the difference.
[00:13:38] Daniela Wolfe: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I always recommend in general, when you're starting something new, pick one. Make it small, make it achievable. Realistic. Fitting in an hour at the gym three times a week out of nowhere is like trying to get off the couch and run a marathon. Start with a 10 minute walk around the block.
Start with something small. Start with, I'm gonna try and get to bed by a certain time every day. Having one small, actionable thing, or you're gonna get up and take five minutes for yourself every day. Whatever it is, if it's small and specific, it, it's gonna happen.
[00:14:11] Dawn Calvinisti: I think sometimes people don't think about the fact that just the basic things that you're mentioning can have the biggest effect. Like the fact that you mentioned sleep, I think is a huge deal because it affects every single area of your life. And so you might think, oh, well that's not a big thing. I should do something that's what I consider a bigger item, but the reality is what everything is going to hold everything else together is a big thing.
[00:14:36] Daniela Wolfe: They don't always look outwardly productive. Like you said, sleep people don't outwardly recognize how incredibly necessary and productive sleep is until they don't get it. But, sleep, I don't know about you, but like, if I don't get a good night's sleep, I'm craving carbs the next day, I'm irritable.
I'm not quite myself, I'm not gonna make great decisions. And you're right, it is gonna snowball in all those areas. So, think of what are some small, simple things you can be more intentional about. Even just smelling your coffee for two minutes in the morning, that intention and focus on it.
Totally changes the perception of that moment and the effects it's gonna have on you.
[00:15:14] Dawn Calvinisti: I love that. I love hearing, just being intentional in the moment. One thing that I often will say to clients is if you just think about the idea right where you are in this moment, like whatever it is. So if you just suddenly catch yourself, oh yeah, I'm supposed to think about something and be intentional.
Okay, what am I doing right now? Like, it can be the most basic thing. You could be standing over a stove, stirring a pot, but if you really just sit there and look at what it looks like and look at the smell, and see the steam coming off it and start using your senses to enjoy that moment, it slows everything down.
It gives you some appreciation. So it, it doesn't have to be anything big.
[00:15:48] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah, no mine's pop popcorn, an air pop popcorn. I stepped right over it and love that smell and that steam and everything like that. Definitely from a safety perspective, but no, the 5, 4, 3 2, 1 of the senses is such a great mindfulness practice as well, that I use with a lot of people because it is easy to, it's like a 30 second scan, that's how quickly you can do that.
[00:16:09] Dawn Calvinisti: Right. Are there other things that you would think of at this time of year that we should be aware of or we should be focusing on as we're heading into the new year?
[00:16:19] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely acknowledge not just the wins, but also maybe the times of stress, being thankful almost, and have some gratitude for what you learned from that, how it helped you grow differently. Life experiences, to focus both on the positive and the negative from the previous year is gonna help you.
Looking into the next year of what are some of your goals? How do you wanna feel next year? As well as, I always like to pair goal planning and self-care because you can't have one without the other. 'cause if you're working towards something and you're driven and motivated, you better have that self-care just as carefully planned out next to it.
They're like bosom buddies, they gotta just stay together and help you in moving forward. Then to be your most successful self, whether it's personally or professionally.
[00:17:07] Dawn Calvinisti: I often find when I tell somebody like, you need to back off a little and take care of yourself and take some of this time out of your day. The response, especially for my perfectionist, the response I will get is, but I won't get as much done. And that's not true. I know that. But what do you say around this?
[00:17:25] Daniela Wolfe: I think, like I said, the fact that we find value of productivity from an outward measure of something tangible that we have to see versus the inward rewards that we get from taking a step back, taking time for ourself. You can share the statistics of the fact that you're more creative, more productive, all those types of things, realizing that multitasking is actually self-sabotaging. Your success versus solo tasking, those types of things. But to take the time to practice it could be very hard, especially like you said, for perfectionists or things like that. And so to do it in small increments, to say you have to step away for an hour, a half hour could feel really scary.
But again, to take then maybe it's a two to four minute break where you're not on your phone to try and be present and not think about your business, whether it's a worry from the past or something for the future. To do it in small increments can still be beneficial because it's easier to practice for that period of time.
And so, like I said, keep it small, keep it simple. You can start to then build maybe from two to four minute break to an eight to 10 minute break, it's still that break. You still achieve the success of accomplishing it, and that's how you can build on these things to do those things.
It's not like, well, you should take a break. You, you should feel comfortable taking an hour. That's not gonna always work.
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[00:18:51] Dawn Calvinisti: I know that you're giving us a cheat sheet called Reclaim Your Time in 10 Minute Blocks, and I'm thinking this is probably gonna help with some of this, but can you tell us what it will do?
[00:19:00] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. It's a super simple cheat sheet because time always seems to be the one obstacle people feel like is in their way of taking self-care breaks, taking time for themselves, and so with this little cheat sheet, It kind of helps you reassess what, how much time you actually need and if need be, what to do with your kids to keep them busy for 10 minutes.
Or I even like to incorporate the kids sometimes because I think not only are we modeling for them how we need to treat, be treated, but also for themselves of how they need to take care of themselves as they go through different life challenges. But either way, it has been some awesome ideas that you can do in 10 minutes or less to recharge.
And they're not all solo. They're not all quiet. Laughter is a great thing. Connecting with others. There's so many different ways to get self-care in 10 minutes or less that doesn't look like quiet or what you might traditionally think. And so just to kind of make it accessible and have options.
'cause when you have options, it's easier to feel like it's possible.
[00:19:58] Dawn Calvinisti: Yes. And if people wanna find you, what's the best place to connect with you?
[00:20:04] Daniela Wolfe: On social media, I'm definitely very active on Instagram, at Best D Life. I'm also on Facebook and LinkedIn, as well as my website, bestdlife.com. I also have a podcast Best D Life with Daniela. It's on Apple, Spotify. Anywhere you listen. Talks about some great tips and strategies.
[00:20:23] Dawn Calvinisti: That's fantastic. So I'll put all of that in the show notes as well as the link to be able to grab the cheat sheets. Don't forget to look there and get into Daniela's community. That is such a great place to be in order to learn more, to connect, to find a community that really suits you and feels good to you.
Daniela, I ask every single guest this one question. When it comes to the three Ps, which are people pleasing, procrastination, and perfectionism, which one do you tend to go towards?
[00:20:52] Daniela Wolfe: Personally I think it can end up in procrastination just because I have so many ideas and then I get paralyzed on which one to start first. I need a very specific to-do list to to get things done sometimes.
[00:21:07] Dawn Calvinisti: I think a lot of people can relate to that. Is there anything else you'd like to tell the listeners before we sign off today?
[00:21:14] Daniela Wolfe: Just give yourself grace, honestly, as well. I think, again, even when it comes to self-care, we can get competitive. We can feel like it has to be productive. Give yourself the grace that life happens, that we're just people and you're doing the best you can to take care of yourself, and so to be intentional, but to give yourself that grace that it's not gonna be perfect every day.
[00:21:33] Dawn Calvinisti: Thank you so much for being with us, Daniela. I so appreciate all your tips and your wisdom, and I love what you shared with us.
Dawn Calvinisti: Thanks for listening to today's show. If you found value in what you heard, please share it with a friend and rate and review us on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps get us out to other women who could benefit from listening.
Check out our show notes for details from the show and to connect with me or our guests. Want to continue the conversation? My website is www.pursueprogress.com or DM me @pursueprogresswithdawn on Instagram.
Until next week, pursue progress no matter how imperfectly.
CONNECT WITH DAWN:
Website: https://pursueprogress.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pursueprogresswithdawn
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/pursueprogresswithdawn
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/imperfectioninprogress
Imperfection in Progress Podcast: https://pursueprogress.com/podcast
Grab your 200 Affirmations for the 3 P’s here: https://www.pursueprogress.com/affirmationspodcast
CONNECT WITH DANIELA:
Website: https://www.bestdlife.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/best_d_life
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bestdlife
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bestdlife
Free Gift: Reclaim Your Time in 10-Minute Blocks Cheat Sheet
Link to Free Gift: https://subscribepage.io/KJ4pB1
OTHER RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS PODCAST:
Umbrella Virtual Solutions: https://www.umbrellavs.com
Book Your Free 30 Minute Strategy Call with the host, Dawn Calvinisti: https://link.theviphub.ca/widget/bookings/dawncalvinisti/highvaluestrategy

“We shouldn't feel bad about taking time to take care of ourselves and burnout. It doesn't just affect us, it affects everybody around us. It affects our job, it affects our productivity, it affects our creativity, it affects our income, it affects our kids, our family, our friends. This is one of those essential pieces that I think gets taken for granted, but if we don't take the time and the intention to do the steps, it won't happen.” - Daniela Wolfe
⬇️ OR SCROLL DOWN TO WATCH THE YOUTUBE VIDEO ⬇️
Welcome to Imperfection in Progress, a podcast for ambitious women who are people-pleasers, perfectionists, or procrastinators. Want to feel less stress and more joy in your life? Then this is for you. I’m your host Dawn Calvinisti.
In this episode I’m joined by Daniela Wolfe. Daniela helps stressed and burnt-out professionals ditch the guilt and overwhelm; productively manage daily tasks with ease, and have the time and energy for self-care every day! She has been an LMSW for 27 years, focused on self-care, stress management skills, mindfulness, relationships, parenting, and managing all the chaos of life. She is also a working mom of 2. Her mission is to empower you to prioritize yourself on your to-do lists and learn the strategies to makeover your daily life.
You can learn more about Daniela by visiting her website www.bestdlife.com
Our conversation focuses on how we can take time for ourselves without guilt and without losing productivity in order to enjoy life more. If you are looking for practical ways to start the process of self-care then you will find an abundance of simple and easy tips that don’t take a lot of time. I know you are going to love all Daniela has to share.
Here’s our conversation.

Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Dawn Calvinisti: I am excited to introduce you to Daniela Wolfe today on the podcast. Welcome.
[00:00:05] Daniela Wolfe: Hi Dawn, how are you? Thank you so much for having me.
[00:00:08] Dawn Calvinisti: I am great and I am really excited about having this conversation not just around burnout, but around the idea of self-care and making sure we don't head into that area as well. But can you tell us a little bit about why preventing burnout? Why the recognition of burnout has become something that is important to you.
[00:00:28] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. I mean, there's so many reasons besides the fact that personally I've been through my own burnout. About 17 years ago, I was a single working mom with two little kids and wanting to do it all for them, be it all, prove that I was capable of doing everything. I drove myself into the ground, exhausted, irritable, snapping more than I wanted to, and I realized that wasn't who I was.
It wasn't who I wanted my kids and my family to know. And it just really motivated me to want, not only to do differently for myself, but as I saw, as I made my changes, women reaching out to me, sharing things that they were doing or asking how I did things, I think, to see that we're looking for that validation and permission, that it's okay and it's so necessary, but it, that it's okay.
We shouldn't feel bad about taking time to take care of ourselves and burnout, it doesn't just affect us, it affects everybody around us. It affects our job, it affects our productivity, it affects our creativity, it affects our income. Affects our kids, our family, our friends, and so just if our goal, I think we could kind of all agree is to live a happy, healthy, productive life.
This is one of those essential pieces that I think gets taken for granted. Like, I should know how to do it, or I assume it sounds easy, but if we don't take the time and the intention to do the steps, it won't happen.
[00:01:49] Dawn Calvinisti: To all of you who are listening regularly, this is again, another piece of why we need to take time out for ourselves, why self-care actually matters. And I think this is super interesting, Daniela, when, when we don't, I guess, reassess if how we're feeling and how life is moving, if we don't take time to reassess, we often can end up in a state of burnout or awfully close to it before we even recognize that we've gotten there.
[00:02:19] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely, and definitely with a lot of women and and people I talk to as well, I think it gets overlooked and underestimated. Doing things that we love can set us up for burnout. I think we always assume it's something negative and realizing that, when we go all in on our business, our job, our kids, our relationship, we are just as if not at higher risk for burnout because this is something we're passionate about.
So we're a little bit looser with our boundaries. We can isolate ourselves because we're so hyper-focused on it and, and to recognize it. This is essential for everybody, not just someone who is doing a job they don't like or things like that.
[00:02:57] Dawn Calvinisti: I love that you mentioned that. I know just from personal experience, I, I built my network marketing business up to the top 3%, and I did that in under two years. But about 11 months in, I realized I'm loving this, but there is no way I can keep up this pace because this in the long term is gonna be detrimental.
So yeah, it doesn't have to be something you're not enjoying.
[00:03:18] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. And, and part of it is because we lose that, that balance in the other areas of our lives. Sometimes you figure, you go all in. I can remember talking to a new mom and she was like, you're my first adult conversation in four days. Because we cut maybe ourselves off from our friends, we, our activities, our free time, the things we used to do, and whether it's in your job again, your kids, your relationships, those kind of things.
It still can be just as detrimental.
[00:03:44] Dawn Calvinisti: I know we're putting this out at the end of the year, and I think this is a time when almost, I don't know, automatically people are taking on more things, more obligations, more invitations to meet up. Just more pressure at work to maybe get things done before the year ends or if you're an entrepreneur, to wrap up those goals that you had for the year.
And I, it feels like almost naturally we put ourself in a state of push, push, push, push. And there's gotta be a better way for us to go out at the end of the year.
[00:04:15] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. And, and like I was just saying, we, you might love the holidays and so you wanna go all out. Your boundaries have gone out the window because you're saying yes to party, you're cooking extra meals, you're doing all sorts of shopping, and like I said, In short periods of time, obviously it, it can be okay, but when you know the holidays go for several months and things like that, you can absolutely put yourself in a position of burnout.
So just even one of those first things is to recognize, and have that awareness of the fact that this is coming. I know I'm going to be doing extra stuff and almost like to pre decide, well, what, how am I gonna take care of myself? Because waiting until we're in that negative place, when we're exhausted, stressed out, I can remember wrapping gifts till two in the morning kind of times. Knowing ahead of time, you're gonna need to build in some extra things to help sustain you through that time and rethink about maybe the expectations of, you don't have to say yes to every party, people will still be your friend, and things like that is one of those first steps when you're just, you kind of see the holidays looming on the horizon.
[00:05:20] Dawn Calvinisti: I love that you mentioned this because this is something even throughout the year, like when you're looking ahead to next year. There may be months where you know that you're more busy. I know for us, we've got three birthdays in the family in one month, and so that's a busy month. So planning ahead, you're right.
It, that's really important to aware.
[00:05:35] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah, knowing ahead of time, having some of that kind of foresight of what is coming up the road can help you almost work backwards to plan your time rather than trying to manage it forward.
[00:05:47] Dawn Calvinisti: Right. When it comes to becoming aware, are there things that we can, I guess, guess tell ourselves to take off that guilt end of it? Because I think so many times we don't take care of ourselves because we feel like it's selfish or whatever, but guilt seems to come along with it.
[00:06:05] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. And it, it is, a, a mindset thing because nobody else is judging us or speaks as harshly to us as we do ourselves. We would never talk to our girlfriends the way we talk to ourselves. And so rethinking what is the benefit of, of doing something, saying yes to something, as well as even saying no to something.
I've heard of, I forget who said it, the joy of missing out and learning to rethink about you're not necessarily, necessarily missing out. It's the joy of maybe a different type of evening, a quiet night in some personal development. Just kind of pampering yourself for the holidays, giving yourself those gifts along the way because yeah, your mood, your personality, your sleep, your movement, your eating habits, all these things get affected when we're not in a great place.
And so letting go of guilt, sometimes you almost need to look at it from the perspective of, what would I say to my best friend if they came to me with this and re-look at it and it takes some practice to start that new mindset and that new kind of conversation shift in your head. It's almost like a trail in the woods.
You have to go over it a bunch of times before it becomes well worn and an easy path to follow. But once you start doing that, it becomes then easier to fall into. I'm, I'm still a great mom if I don't make 20 Christmas cookies this year.
[00:07:25] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, it definitely is interesting the stories that we tell ourselves about what we should be doing or we have to keep up or it's always been done this way and it really can, can lock us in to obligations that even if we enjoy them, we don't necessarily need to take on.
[00:07:42] Daniela Wolfe: Or even just how to share them, maybe delegate. I think back to my family at least, a lot of my mom and and sisters were stay at home wives and moms, and so they had the time to do those different traditions and cooking things and whatnot. And so instead of having to be one person taking it on, you can delegate half of it to the, the local restaurant that does a great take on your favorite recipe, share it with siblings, cousins, and come together.
So there's ways to kind of adapt and modify. Some of those traditions so you don't feel like you're letting it go or letting things down. But if anything, you're bringing more inclusive and you're bringing more people into the joy of celebrating that tradition rather than it just being work for one person.
[00:08:23] Dawn Calvinisti: When it comes to our, our businesses, especially for entrepreneurs, are there, are there areas where you find that women just feel like they have to do the work? Because if they don't, the end result isn't gonna happen or the success isn't gonna happen?
[00:08:38] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I think it, I think of even, whether it's in our businesses, kids, like nobody can pick out the outfits the same way you think because it, it becomes your baby, your business. At least that's the experience I've found. Our businesses are our babies, and so we have a kind of perception of what we want things to be like, and especially if you're a very highly motivated driven, perfectionist type personality, which a lot of business owners are. We're very highly motivated and driven. We have great passion, and that passion can sometimes narrow how we see the perspective of things being able to get done. And so being able to broaden that perspective of others' opinions, others' styles will help you to let go of some of that, and that's hard. Absolutely. To not necessarily turn things over, but to allow another set of hands in with you. It doesn't always have to be, you step away completely and have given it up. It's about sharing the load.
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[00:09:37] Dawn Calvinisti: I can definitely see as a recovering perfectionist myself, the idea of letting somebody else in can can feel threatening. They're not gonna do it as well as me. I'm the one who knows all of it, but often that's the area that would give you the biggest relief and allow you to go and do the things that you're best at.
[00:09:55] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah, and it's hard because our businesses are our brand. It's our voice, and so when somebody is out there trying to be us and doesn't sound like us it's hard. And so maybe those are the parts you don't let go, but you allow some of the things that don't reflect on your personality as much to be able to be handed off.
[00:10:13] Dawn Calvinisti: That's a good tip. When we are at this point in the year, like we were saying, are there things that we can do as far as taking care of ourselves that. Kind of give us the most bang for the buck.
[00:10:26] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely, and granted, these are great, especially around the holidays because they're not super time intensive. They're not a heavy lift. Even though most of the things I teach are not super time intensive and not a heavy lift because I think we should be integrating self-care throughout our day, every day, kind of micro moments, 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there.
You put them all together. You've got an hour, hour and a half self-care practice potentially every single day, which is perfect to maintaining your wellbeing, but around the holidays, like we said, when you know you're gonna be saying yes to more things, taking on more stress, that first step of acknowledging it so that you are more aware. When we think differently, we're gonna feel differently. When we feel differently, we act differently. So we've gotta think about it first. We've gotta acknowledge the elephant in the room of, I know this is what happens with me during the holidays. I know I get excited and passionate and I go all in.
So I'm going to every day plan these activities. I'm gonna do these things for myself because you can't save up self-care for like a weekend. Think you do an hour or two and it's gonna last all week. That's like eating on Sunday and thinking you'll be fine by Friday. So taking those intentional breaks throughout each day, even if you haven't already been doing it, it might sound like, oh, I'll wait till New Year's, but this is a do now kind of thing. Start taking one minute breaks five times a day, even just for one minute without your device, without anything. Do some breathing, drink some water, do some meditation maybe, or some affirmations.
That small little practice will start to move. You might then add in a little movement during that one minute and walk. You might be more intentional about when you're not at a party, maybe eating a certain way that feels good for you. Sleep is always a big one during the holidays and making sure you focus just on these key areas that you pay attention to all year long that you integrate, but be more intentional, more kind of firmer with your boundaries around it.
Is gonna help you stay more grounded and feel like yourself so you're not trying to recover through half of January. Gratitude, I always think is a great area as well, especially during the holidays, because I think even with those expectations, if we don't meet this right, this moment didn't come out right, the picture wasn't great, our numbers aren't where we want them to be in our business.
Gratitude for the things we have accomplished that we do have will help us stay in that better mindset place, help us moving forward. If you're noticing the good versus noticing the bad you're gonna keep noticing the good. It's kind of like the red car theory. You think you're gonna go buy a red car and all of a sudden you see them, everything.
You're activating their reticular activating system and so it just helps you kind of be more consciously aware of those positive things to keep you going. Being aware of your physical needs. That's a big one. Sometimes we don't notice until we're in a negative place, but if we're more conscious ahead of time, that'll help us as well. And that's just a couple. Didn't wanna overwhelm you.
[00:13:26] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, I mean there's a lot that we can do, but I love that you give just some really practical, I mean, even if you picked one of these and started to work with it, right? To see the difference.
[00:13:38] Daniela Wolfe: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I always recommend in general, when you're starting something new, pick one. Make it small, make it achievable. Realistic. Fitting in an hour at the gym three times a week out of nowhere is like trying to get off the couch and run a marathon. Start with a 10 minute walk around the block.
Start with something small. Start with, I'm gonna try and get to bed by a certain time every day. Having one small, actionable thing, or you're gonna get up and take five minutes for yourself every day. Whatever it is, if it's small and specific, it, it's gonna happen.
[00:14:11] Dawn Calvinisti: I think sometimes people don't think about the fact that just the basic things that you're mentioning can have the biggest effect. Like the fact that you mentioned sleep, I think is a huge deal because it affects every single area of your life. And so you might think, oh, well that's not a big thing. I should do something that's what I consider a bigger item, but the reality is what everything is going to hold everything else together is a big thing.
[00:14:36] Daniela Wolfe: They don't always look outwardly productive. Like you said, sleep people don't outwardly recognize how incredibly necessary and productive sleep is until they don't get it. But, sleep, I don't know about you, but like, if I don't get a good night's sleep, I'm craving carbs the next day, I'm irritable.
I'm not quite myself, I'm not gonna make great decisions. And you're right, it is gonna snowball in all those areas. So, think of what are some small, simple things you can be more intentional about. Even just smelling your coffee for two minutes in the morning, that intention and focus on it.
Totally changes the perception of that moment and the effects it's gonna have on you.
[00:15:14] Dawn Calvinisti: I love that. I love hearing, just being intentional in the moment. One thing that I often will say to clients is if you just think about the idea right where you are in this moment, like whatever it is. So if you just suddenly catch yourself, oh yeah, I'm supposed to think about something and be intentional.
Okay, what am I doing right now? Like, it can be the most basic thing. You could be standing over a stove, stirring a pot, but if you really just sit there and look at what it looks like and look at the smell, and see the steam coming off it and start using your senses to enjoy that moment, it slows everything down.
It gives you some appreciation. So it, it doesn't have to be anything big.
[00:15:48] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah, no mine's pop popcorn, an air pop popcorn. I stepped right over it and love that smell and that steam and everything like that. Definitely from a safety perspective, but no, the 5, 4, 3 2, 1 of the senses is such a great mindfulness practice as well, that I use with a lot of people because it is easy to, it's like a 30 second scan, that's how quickly you can do that.
[00:16:09] Dawn Calvinisti: Right. Are there other things that you would think of at this time of year that we should be aware of or we should be focusing on as we're heading into the new year?
[00:16:19] Daniela Wolfe: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely acknowledge not just the wins, but also maybe the times of stress, being thankful almost, and have some gratitude for what you learned from that, how it helped you grow differently. Life experiences, to focus both on the positive and the negative from the previous year is gonna help you.
Looking into the next year of what are some of your goals? How do you wanna feel next year? As well as, I always like to pair goal planning and self-care because you can't have one without the other. 'cause if you're working towards something and you're driven and motivated, you better have that self-care just as carefully planned out next to it.
They're like bosom buddies, they gotta just stay together and help you in moving forward. Then to be your most successful self, whether it's personally or professionally.
[00:17:07] Dawn Calvinisti: I often find when I tell somebody like, you need to back off a little and take care of yourself and take some of this time out of your day. The response, especially for my perfectionist, the response I will get is, but I won't get as much done. And that's not true. I know that. But what do you say around this?
[00:17:25] Daniela Wolfe: I think, like I said, the fact that we find value of productivity from an outward measure of something tangible that we have to see versus the inward rewards that we get from taking a step back, taking time for ourself. You can share the statistics of the fact that you're more creative, more productive, all those types of things, realizing that multitasking is actually self-sabotaging. Your success versus solo tasking, those types of things. But to take the time to practice it could be very hard, especially like you said, for perfectionists or things like that. And so to do it in small increments, to say you have to step away for an hour, a half hour could feel really scary.
But again, to take then maybe it's a two to four minute break where you're not on your phone to try and be present and not think about your business, whether it's a worry from the past or something for the future. To do it in small increments can still be beneficial because it's easier to practice for that period of time.
And so, like I said, keep it small, keep it simple. You can start to then build maybe from two to four minute break to an eight to 10 minute break, it's still that break. You still achieve the success of accomplishing it, and that's how you can build on these things to do those things.
It's not like, well, you should take a break. You, you should feel comfortable taking an hour. That's not gonna always work.
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[00:18:51] Dawn Calvinisti: I know that you're giving us a cheat sheet called Reclaim Your Time in 10 Minute Blocks, and I'm thinking this is probably gonna help with some of this, but can you tell us what it will do?
[00:19:00] Daniela Wolfe: Absolutely. It's a super simple cheat sheet because time always seems to be the one obstacle people feel like is in their way of taking self-care breaks, taking time for themselves, and so with this little cheat sheet, It kind of helps you reassess what, how much time you actually need and if need be, what to do with your kids to keep them busy for 10 minutes.
Or I even like to incorporate the kids sometimes because I think not only are we modeling for them how we need to treat, be treated, but also for themselves of how they need to take care of themselves as they go through different life challenges. But either way, it has been some awesome ideas that you can do in 10 minutes or less to recharge.
And they're not all solo. They're not all quiet. Laughter is a great thing. Connecting with others. There's so many different ways to get self-care in 10 minutes or less that doesn't look like quiet or what you might traditionally think. And so just to kind of make it accessible and have options.
'cause when you have options, it's easier to feel like it's possible.
[00:19:58] Dawn Calvinisti: Yes. And if people wanna find you, what's the best place to connect with you?
[00:20:04] Daniela Wolfe: On social media, I'm definitely very active on Instagram, at Best D Life. I'm also on Facebook and LinkedIn, as well as my website, bestdlife.com. I also have a podcast Best D Life with Daniela. It's on Apple, Spotify. Anywhere you listen. Talks about some great tips and strategies.
[00:20:23] Dawn Calvinisti: That's fantastic. So I'll put all of that in the show notes as well as the link to be able to grab the cheat sheets. Don't forget to look there and get into Daniela's community. That is such a great place to be in order to learn more, to connect, to find a community that really suits you and feels good to you.
Daniela, I ask every single guest this one question. When it comes to the three Ps, which are people pleasing, procrastination, and perfectionism, which one do you tend to go towards?
[00:20:52] Daniela Wolfe: Personally I think it can end up in procrastination just because I have so many ideas and then I get paralyzed on which one to start first. I need a very specific to-do list to to get things done sometimes.
[00:21:07] Dawn Calvinisti: I think a lot of people can relate to that. Is there anything else you'd like to tell the listeners before we sign off today?
[00:21:14] Daniela Wolfe: Just give yourself grace, honestly, as well. I think, again, even when it comes to self-care, we can get competitive. We can feel like it has to be productive. Give yourself the grace that life happens, that we're just people and you're doing the best you can to take care of yourself, and so to be intentional, but to give yourself that grace that it's not gonna be perfect every day.
[00:21:33] Dawn Calvinisti: Thank you so much for being with us, Daniela. I so appreciate all your tips and your wisdom, and I love what you shared with us.
Dawn Calvinisti: Thanks for listening to today's show. If you found value in what you heard, please share it with a friend and rate and review us on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps get us out to other women who could benefit from listening.
Check out our show notes for details from the show and to connect with me or our guests. Want to continue the conversation? My website is www.pursueprogress.com or DM me @pursueprogresswithdawn on Instagram.
Until next week, pursue progress no matter how imperfectly.
CONNECT WITH DAWN:
Website: https://pursueprogress.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pursueprogresswithdawn
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/pursueprogresswithdawn
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/imperfectioninprogress
Imperfection in Progress Podcast: https://pursueprogress.com/podcast
Grab your 200 Affirmations for the 3 P’s here: https://www.pursueprogress.com/affirmationspodcast
CONNECT WITH DANIELA:
Website: https://www.bestdlife.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/best_d_life
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bestdlife
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bestdlife
Free Gift: Reclaim Your Time in 10-Minute Blocks Cheat Sheet
Link to Free Gift: https://subscribepage.io/KJ4pB1
OTHER RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS PODCAST:
Umbrella Virtual Solutions: https://www.umbrellavs.com
Book Your Free 30 Minute Strategy Call with the host, Dawn Calvinisti: https://link.theviphub.ca/widget/bookings/dawncalvinisti/highvaluestrategy



You'll feel relief as you realize what things you can do less of and what area you should focus on right now.