“There's so much that goes to overthinking and then overthinking in and of itself is because you're either mulling over the past too much, or you're worrying about the future too much. And the goal is, let's focus on the present.” - Anna Zschuppe

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Self-Discovery and Identity with Anna Zschuppe

Welcome to Imperfection in Progress, a podcast for ambitious women who are people-pleasers, perfectionists, or procrastinators. Want to feel less stress and more joy in your life? Then this is for you. I’m your host Dawn Calvinisti.

In this episode I’m speaking with Anna Zschuppe. After going through an immense inner healing and self-discovery journey, Anna quit her six-figure, Fortune 500 job in corporate America as an HR consultant at age 26 to start her own coaching business. She works as a stress/burnout and certified career transitions coach to help overworked high achievers feeling like they've hit a breaking point in their lives/careers discover their unique purpose, boost their confidence, and become the most authentic versions of themselves by breaking patterns of shame, perfectionism and overthinking.

 Anna has served college students and executives alike for 5+ years in the career and HR consulting spaces, and she now helps equip small businesses and nonprofits with personal development resources and health/wellness retreats. Anna has been featured in Brainz magazine and has given 30+ keynote speeches focusing on mental health, physical wellness, spirituality, and small businesses.

You can learn more about Anna by visiting her website summersoulsticecoach.com

Anna is so transparent when sharing her own journey of self-love. We share more about perfectionism and the ways it can keep us from loving ourselves as we are. And the best part is when Anna takes us through her 5-Minute Method, a short meditation to really help guide you into reflecting and choosing to care for yourself more. If you can’t participate with us while listening I hope you’ll go back and listen again when you have a space to follow along.

Here’s our conversation.

Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Dawn Calvinisti: I am super excited to introduce you to Anna Zschuppe and she is here specifically talking about things. Again, I'm going to say February, we're talking about love and relationships, but the relationship that matters the most is the one with ourselves. So if you feel like we're really driving his home this month, we are.

And Anna. Thanks for being a part of this month.

[00:00:27] Anna Zschuppe: Yes, absolutely. Thanks for having me excited to be here.

[00:00:31] Dawn Calvinisti: I'm totally curious why is it that you do what you do? What's brought you to this place?

[00:00:38] Anna Zschuppe: That's a great question. So in terms of, being a stress and burnout coach and really helping people really love themselves, get rooted in their identity and how to actually carry that out in both their lives and careers. For me, it's something that I had to journey through myself. I was a person who was in human resources consulting, I, Thought I had a great job, but then when Covid hit, it really had me question like, what is it that I wanna do?

Who am I? And things like that. And I got to a point where I thought about, Hey, actually I think I wanna do coaching. But I was hitting a lot of self limiting beliefs like you're not good enough. There's a ton of shame. You're too young. You're gonna fail, right? And these are things that no one else told me, but I just told myself and accidentally I say it's accidentally in quotes, right?

But I was actually put on a self healing journey and inner healing journey where I learned how Okay, to love myself. And I really learned how shame, perfectionism, self hatred were really ruling my life. And it really got down to me really understanding where these stem from throughout my life and actually bringing compassion and healing into these areas so that not only I could love myself, but then I can pour into others, not really pouring from an empty cup, having an.

Cup of overflow and a cup of joy that I'm able to be able to give to others. And that's what I love helping people do again. Just really understand who is it that I am and how have I been made and created and loved? And how can I give that to myself? How can I give that to others? And how can I give that to my career?

[00:02:34] Dawn Calvinisti: I think it's interesting that all, I mean, many, many, many people, People had a bit of a revelation going through COVID that is this what I want to be doing is what I'm doing right now. The thing I want to continue forward with. Is there something more? Do I want to take more control of what my life looks like?

And you are another one. That's a testimony to that. I love that. you went through all the self doubt that we all do. I think that's, it's so human and I love hearing that, that it's, it wasn't just like, oh yeah, I'm changing and everything's good.

[00:03:06] Anna Zschuppe: right, right. No, I, I tell people that stress is a bigger pandemic than covid will ever be. Mental health and stress and anxiety are things that we are facing on not just a daily basis, but an hour by hour basis, and especially for those who are young adults too. And for me that again, that was something that I was facing and really having to come to terms with, man, like, why do I feel like I'm constantly hitting this wall, constantly hitting this ceiling again, not only in my job, but then it was also like in my relationships in my dating life.

I'm like, what is going on here? And I really had to be brought back onto the path, if you will, of who am I really? And a lot of these pains and these self doubts and things like that. I not only put that on myself, but I put that on to other people. So let's actually reverse the script, rewrite our narratives and really get rewired psychologically so that I can step into my full purpose.

And for me, like that might look like for different people, different things. But for me, that looks like leaving my corporate America job and then. going into coaching, which again, that self doubt is things that will literally cripple us and hold us back from who we're meant to be and how to live authentically and confidently.

[00:04:33] Dawn Calvinisti: When I originally created this podcast, it was because I had also come through a journey that I felt I could help other women through. And many of us, that's what we do. We're filling that gap and speaking to our old self. And for me, it was the, the people pleasing, the perfectionism and the procrastination, my three P's.

And I think I hear in, in what you're saying to those are there for you as well and, and I would say probably perfectionism played a bit of a role there. Yeah.

[00:05:02] Anna Zschuppe: Oh, totally. And it's more than one area of my life and multiple different angles. And I think with perfectionism, the thing is that a lot of those, habits, if you will, a lot of people say like, I'm a perfectionist, I'm an overthinker, I'm OCD. I'm like, well, a lot of it is nature versus nurture.

And a lot of those behaviors actually developed. In your childhood. So for me, what that looks like, those perfectionistic habits was happening when, for example, my dad would say, oh, you got an A, why didn't you get an a plus? Which made me think in my head, oh my gosh, I need to perform to receive love.

I need to do things. quote, unquote, right. Right. And because of that, that fixation on doing things right, making sure I was being and feeling and doing good enough, that inhibited me a lot. Because not only did it, not only did I contemplate and was so indecisive on what I wanted to do, the right thing. And because of that, that led to inaction.

But then also I would mull on things too much. Like if I was doing a consulting slide deck, it would take me hours to do it because I had to make it really, really perfect. Right? Which is taking away your time and energy from the things that maybe you should do. Right? So again, that perfectionism, it bled into areas of my life.

But because of that, for example, this fixation of having to do it right and perfect, that also led to my procrastination. And that's like a psychological thing too. When people procrastinate, it's because they're trying to choose the less Which which route has less pain? Well, I'm just going to push it off.

That's going to be easier rather than attacking it and doing it right. And that's what my stumbling block was. Because, like I said, I faced all those three Ps, right? But that's kind of a way in which that perfectionism kind of bled, for example, into that procrastination also. Yeah.

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[00:07:15] Dawn Calvinisti: a call very recently with a lady who she was in a great corporate job, hated it. But had been in it for many years and felt like that was her path. And of course, that's what people thought of her. That's her part of her identity. And was really struggling with the idea of what she wanted to do and how to make that transition.

So sounds similar when you're thinking, I'm going to leave human resources and do something else. And that perfectionism was really holding her back. Now we, we worked through a lot of it and did it, did a great thing and able to get her forward. But can you talk to us and to those perfectionists that are listening, listening about the idea of, Maybe not having everything perfect in order to make that kind of change.

Okay,

[00:07:57] Anna Zschuppe: Yeah. So I think th parts to that. Right? So able to give yourself that, Let's just make a decision. And if I step into one way, it's going to go one of two directions. You're either going to keep going down that path or you're going to learn. You're going to pivot and you're going to find that new path. That's for you. I think that's why so many perfectionists get stuck is because they want to do what's quote unquote right.

There is no right decision. Actually, the right decision is just taking action. So that's my first piece of advice is to just kind of take that action and over time, give yourself that grace of Hey, everything is going to be okay. Hey, rather than saying I'm doing it wrong, saying I'm learning. How to do this in the best way that I can so that those are two different pieces of advice I give.

But then also just taking time. I know you're mentioning, that concept of identity and who am I? A lot of high achievers and perfectionist. They put their value in their work. They put their value in what they're doing in their job. But you actually have to pull back from that and reflect on Hey, like in my childhood, for example, Yeah.

What were the things that I love to do? What excited me with no grade, no achievement attached? Like what are some of those things that I love to do? And why did I love to do them? And when you have a better idea of what your passions, your values, your strengths are, you're going to be able to kind of come up with that purpose, if you will, which is something that can be developed and grown upon.

Both for yourself and for others, both in your life and in your career, so personally and professionally, and then it's so specific that you're actually bought into it and energized by it. So the more that you reflect and hone in on that kind of stuff and just really refine your identity. aside from work, like strip all of that down, the more you're going to be able to step into what is right.

Cause again, that what is right is taking action, but taking action and what your purpose is stepping into your mission and purpose. Cause that's, what's going to help you live a fulfilling life in an abundant life and career. Yeah,

[00:10:31] Dawn Calvinisti: so maybe somebody's listening right now and they're thinking, I don't know if I'm a perfectionist or not, but this is really speaking to me. What would be some of the signs that you would say this might be part of perfectionism?

[00:10:45] Anna Zschuppe: so there are definitely some telltale signs of perfectionism. So one of it is. having those indecisive thoughts, just thinking over and over and over again, it's also thinking about what other people think if you're having those fears of if you're doing things right, right? And then trying to live up to those expectations.

There's also some good signs of perfectionism in a sense. Like if you're always in a you're always in a position that you feel like where you have to be the high achiever, where you have to be the role model, where you have to be the good kid that kind of falls into that category. But when it gets unhealthy, as like you said, kind of stepping into some of those other areas of people pleasing and procrastination that really can get into the way.

So those are some of the signs that I would give for that.

[00:11:43] Dawn Calvinisti: I like that you mentioned, like, these are some of the more healthy parts. And again, I've said this in the past, but it's, it's important to recognize that some of these are strengths, right? Like wanting to do things well, that's an awesome thing.

[00:11:56] Anna Zschuppe: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. And that's what I tell people. And this isn't just for perfectionism, right? Like if you're thinking in other areas or other characteristics, there are on, there are healthy and unhealthy sides to it. So like you said, there's nothing wrong with being a role model or being motivated or being driven.

Like those are actually really, really good things that we're called to do. But when we're putting our worth into that, AKA, If I don't do well, people are going to think that I'm not liked or accepted, or they're not going to think highly of me. That's when it becomes unhealthy. Or when you're sacrificing your work life balance because you find that your worth is in your work, that's when it's unhealthy.

So again, it's definitely what is that called? Like more of like that back and forth, like that pendulum. And our goal is to try to. Honor and hone in on what those strengths are, but also pull back and recognize, Hey, maybe these are some struggles or areas where it's becoming too much right where there's too much unhealthiness.

How do I actually pull some of those back and hone it into more of a balanced state?

[00:13:12] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah. And I know that some of that unhealthiness, like it can come out as anxiety. It can come out as overthinking and just never really. feeling like your mind rests, like it's just go, go, go.

[00:13:24] Anna Zschuppe: Yeah, yeah, that is another big sign, like the hamster wheel, just your mind's going like a mile a minute. And it's crazy to think how that has an impact not only on your mind, right, but on your body to like your stress or your stress is literally held in your body. And when you're overthinking and everything, your adrenal glands are just through the roof.

And because of that, I almost want to do this. study on my own. I feel like this is like an informal study. So don't quote me scientifically. But I can imagine that a lot of people who are more anxiety ridden, more overthinking, they actually have a lot of like digestive issues. So I know so many people who I work with.

They're like, I can't digest anything. I have constipation or I'm going to the bathroom too much. I'm like, well, don't start thinking about taking supplements. Let's actually think about your behaviors and whatnot because your stress is stored in your body. It's like your body keeps the score. So there's so much that goes to overthinking and then overthinking in and of itself is because you're either worrying about the past Too much.

You're mulling over the past too much, or you're worrying about the future too much. And the goal, and this is what I help my clients do a lot, is, Hey, let's focus on the present. Let's appreciate the past and focus on the present to change the future. So how can we actually dial in to presence and who we are?

[00:14:57] Dawn Calvinisti: Oh, I love that. I think that's one of the hardest things for sure is to be in the moment. I know that you have the five minute method, which is for peace and calm. And for people who are overthinking who are anxious or worry a lot, that would be, I think, probably their dream. So can you share some of this with us?

[00:15:18] Anna Zschuppe: Yeah, I can actually walk us through it right now if you want to. 

[00:15:23] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, let's do

[00:15:25] Anna Zschuppe: So a lot of what the five minute method is, is really again, getting to this place of presence, starting to engage our senses, investigating those emotions or just kind of being observant of those things that are coming up. No judgment, no shame, nothing like that.

Right? And then from there, how do we provide it? Healing, compassion, love. So it's something based off of the rain methodology. So you recognize, you acknowledge, you investigate, and then you nurture. So we'll take some time now for those listening, or even you and I on the call, and we'll just do the five minute method as we speak. Awesome. All right. So here, I don't wanna close your eyes. Okay.

And what you want to do, just go ahead and breathe in for four seconds, hold for two at the top, and then exhale for four seconds. So inhale through your nose for four seconds,

hold at the two for top one, two, and then release for four seconds like you're blowing through a straw.

And during this time, exhale You're going to want to just release some of those thoughts or distractions, giving them a gentle hug and knowing that you're going to get to them at a later time, and just continuing to breathe throughout this exercise, and you'll start to notice maybe some areas of tension that are popping up, so just starting to recognize and acknowledge those And what I want you to do as well is to just put your hands on your heart or even your hands on areas where there's tension. So maybe you're feeling some tension in your shoulders and your neck.

Just put your hands on there so that your mind is connecting to your body and your body is connecting to your spirit and your spirit is connecting to your soul. And if you don't have any areas of tension, just go ahead and place your hands on your heart. Again, getting back to that place of presence, tucking away some of those thoughts, knowing that you'll get to them at a later time.

Just starting to engage your senses as well. Starting to think about what you're seeing, what you're hearing, tasting, smelling, feeling, touching. Start to notice some of those things as you're in this space and you're in this place.

What I tell people as they're doing this meditation is to find a space and place where they feel comfortable, where they feel like they can relax again, just starting to engage your different senses and starting to notice what's coming up for you. Maybe you feel more relaxed and calm, which is great. Keep diving into that. Keep feeling and honoring those things. And maybe it's an emotion that's coming up. Maybe it's anxiety, maybe it's anger, maybe it's frustration. And if it is one of those emotions, I want you to imagine that emotion as if it were a character in a movie, think about what it looks like, what it feels like, what it sounds like.

If you need to pause this podcast or wind so that you can do some of the steps and really get to that place of presence, go ahead and do so. But if you're feeling an emotion come up again, just start to think about. What that emotion looks like as if it were a character.

When you have that ready, what I want you to do is just imagine yourself giving it a really, really big hug. And you can even give yourself that hug. Embrace yourself in a hug.

Allow some of those emotions to dissipate.

So let that love and connection come in.

And that peace and relaxation to be flowed through and remembering to continue to breathe. Inhaling for four, holding for two at the top and exhaling for four.

Once you feel like you have the sense of calmness, the sense of presence with that emotion, just continue to notice if anything does come up. And if so, start to find ways to nurture that part of you.

And give yourself that hug and make sure as you're doing this. To affirm yourself,

saying these words out loud, whatever your name is, I am loved. So repeating after me, fill your name in here in the blank. Anna, I am loved.

I am worthy. I do not need to perform to receive love.

I am learning and I am growing.

And I love my beautiful self.

You're going to want to repeat these affirmations, especially as negative emotions of shame or perfectionism. Or hatred, self hatred, rejection are coming up so that you continue to feel more full, more balanced, and more whole.

You might need to continue to investigate and do some of those emotions, to dig into some of those emotions. But if you're at a point at this time where you feel rest, you feel at peace, you feel relaxed, honor that. and sit with that and love that and love yourself.

[00:24:06] Dawn Calvinisti: How simple is that? Like, truly,

[00:24:16] Anna Zschuppe: Truly simple. Something that you can literally do while you're at the dinner table at Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever it may be right with your family, or if you're sitting in your room and you're feeling down in the dumps, just super quick way to find that presence. Just start pouring into your own cup.

[00:24:42] Dawn Calvinisti: thank you so much for this, Anna. I think this is the first time I've had a guided type of meditation on the show, and I think they're really powerful when you take that time out for yourself.

[00:24:52] Anna Zschuppe: Absolutely. Absolutely. Even if it's just five minutes, and I say this because perfectionists especially are like, no, it needs to be perfect. It has to be this and this amount of time, and I need to have this huge revelation. I'm like. No, you don't. Like it's actually just five minutes, even if it's just a little bit of something and doing this consistently throughout the day.

I kind of call these like these daily check ins, like using this method to just kind of check in every single day for like five minutes. And if you do it multiple times a day, that's awesome. Right. But just to actually check in of like, Hey heart, how are you doing? Hey heart, how can I help you in this moment right now?

Hey, heart. What are you feeling? The more that you can create that relationship again, even if it's just for a few minutes, you're starting to rewire your brain, open up your heart and start defeating some of those self tendencies of self hatred or inner criticism and things like that. So

[00:25:59] Dawn Calvinisti: Oh, I love this. And if people would like to connect in with you, what's a good place for them to find you?

[00:26:05] Anna Zschuppe: Yes. So there's a couple different ways, but the ways in which I would suggest are simply on Facebook and LinkedIn. Just searching my first name and last name, Anna, ANNA, and then Zschuppe Z-S-C-H-U-P-P-E. I know it doesn't sound like how it's spelled, but feel free to connect with me on there. Would love to have a conversation, but then also you can go ahead and go to my website, www.summer solstice, S O U L S T I C E coach. com. www dot summer solstice s dot com. Yeah, exactly

[00:26:49] Dawn Calvinisti: Perfect. I will put that in the show notes. So any links, and if you want to connect in with Anna, they're there, but you can go there now as well. And I know that you also have the five minute method to calming your mind as a meditation guide free for us. So that will also be there in the download. So is that like what we did?

[00:27:09] Anna Zschuppe: little bit of context t of meditation, actually e as you're going through t can use to provide yourself that comfort, that love and presence. And then, of course, ways in which to stay in contact with me, how to join some community groups that I have coaching everything in, in between. So the guide dives into all that kind of stuff, but you got a little sneak peek today with the podcast that we did

[00:27:39] Dawn Calvinisti: Awesome. And. And the last thing I want to ask you, because I ask everybody that comes on the show, for you, which one of the three P's do you tend to go to the most? Is it the people pleasing, the perfectionism, or the procrastination?

[00:27:55] Anna Zschuppe: Ooh, that I tend to go to the most. Hmm. I feel like at this point. in my life because I have overcome a lot of those perfectionist tendencies, or at least like the mindset with perfectionism. I think now it's Procrastination. So some of the practicals that I need to do to make sure to carry out things in my business and in my life, making sure that I'm not trying to fall into those procrastination tendencies, so,

[00:28:27] Dawn Calvinisti: Awesome. Thanks for sharing with us. I think it's important for people to know that we are working through things all the time. It doesn't matter what we've come through.

[00:28:35] Anna Zschuppe: oh, totally. Yeah, definitely. It's, I think it's a part of the inner healing journey is that it's never going to be something that you're over and done with. 

Right? It's a continual process where you're learning and you're growing, but you're actually uncovering deeper and deeper layers where you can grow and learn and build self awareness on so that you can continue to move about your life and in your career in those ways, too, and in healthier ways and starting to recognize some of those unhealthy patterns and how to break them very abundantly.

[00:29:12] Dawn Calvinisti: Thank you again, Anna, for being here. I have such gratitude for what you shared with us and just making us aware of things that we maybe weren't aware of before and to be open to looking into our own lives.

[00:29:24] Anna Zschuppe: Yeah, absolutely. Thanks again. I'm glad we were a meditation and whatnot. A people as well as you're podcast, like feel free t can pause, you can rewind They can be reiterative. Sometimes you have to go back. If you're not feeling present, go back, right? So definitely encourage that. And thank you for giving me the opportunity to be able to share that through a podcast.

I haven't done it over a podcast before either. So this has been fun. This has been great.

[DAWN CALVINISTI]

Thanks for listening to today's show. If you found value in what you heard, please share it with a friend and rate and review us on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps get us out to other women who could benefit from listening. 

Check out our show notes for details from the show and to connect with me or our guests. Want to continue the conversation? My website is www.pursueprogress.com or DM me @pursueprogresswithdawn on Instagram. 

Until next week, pursue progress no matter how imperfectly.Links from this episode:

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Free Gift: The 5-Minute Method to Calming Your Mind: A Meditation Guide

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OTHER RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS PODCAST:

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