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How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Food with Melissa Rohlfs

January 10, 202433 min read

Every day is a new opportunity to do something. It doesn't have to be the beginning of the year. And so I think, just acknowledging - What do you want? What do you need? And what are you willing to do to make it happen? - can be really powerful. - Melissa Rohlfs

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How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Food with Melissa Rohlfs

[DAWN CALVINISTI]

Welcome to Imperfection in Progress, a podcast for ambitious women who are people-pleasers, perfectionists, or procrastinators. Want to feel less stress and more joy in your life? Then this is for you. I’m your host Dawn Calvinisti.

Today’s podcast episode is with Melissa Rohlfs. Melissa is a certified holistic health and life coach helping busy moms and teen girls find freedom from the struggle with food, so they can be at peace with food, their bodies and their lives. She is committed to empowering women to break free from dieting, emotional eating and self-image issues so they can ditch the diet mentality, and feel empowered in their own skin.

After her own tumultuous history with food {withholding and then later in life, bingeing}, she learned how to deal with the core issues around her broken relationship with food. As a result, she felt called to go to school and learn to teach other women how to do the same. She graduated from the Health Coach Institute as a Holistic Health and Life Coach in 2018 and is the proud owner of Free 2 B Coaching. She is a proud Purdue alumna living in Arizona with her husband, Chad and two kiddos.

With January often being the start of some type of health resolution I knew Melissa would help us truly see things from a different perspective. We talk about the conflicting advice around weight loss. We also jump into the link between food and emotions.

If you struggle with emotional eating or setting up healthy habits then this episode will give you some great places to start. I hope you will take time to do some self-reflection after listening.

Here’s our conversation.

diet and food struggles

Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Dawn Calvinisti: I am super excited to welcome Melissa Rolfs here today. Thank you so much for being on the podcast.

[00:00:06] Melissa Rohlfs: Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

[00:00:09] Dawn Calvinisti: When I said that in January, we would be talking about all things health. One area that I know was really popular last year was when we chatted about diets and losing weight and New Year's resolutions. And this is that time of year where people either are already like, All or nothing into it, or they've already given up.

It's kind of either or. And I would love to hear from your perspective, like this whole thing about today I'm going to, kick off this year differently. I'm going to lose 10 pounds in a month. All of that kind of stuff. Let's just dive right in because I think we both are pretty passionate about what real health looks like and, kind of what's out there telling us we need to be.

[00:00:51] Melissa Rohlfs: Okay, here we go. I think you're so right and you nailed so many things, Dawn, because it's not like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna accomplish this ridiculous goal because I think the key thing is to make sure your goal is realistic and attainable and 10 pounds in a month, probably not the most realistic, maybe shoot for eight, that's about two a week.

But I think making sure that you have a goal that's realistic and that is setting yourself up for success is key because I think. What we do, right. It's like, we're, we have October, we have Halloween and then we have Thanksgiving and then we have Christmas and we have all these holidays. And then it's like, all of a sudden we flip the calendar and we got, I need to do something.

Well, every day is a new opportunity to do something. It doesn't have to be the beginning of the year. And so I think, just acknowledging like, what do you want? What do you need? And what are you willing to do to make it happen can be really powerful. And it doesn't have to necessarily be January 1st.

Yeah,

[00:01:47] Dawn Calvinisti: I like that, the whole idea of again, it's, it's this topic where I feel like at one point it was okay to say that you wanted to lose weight. Then there came another point where it's like, well, that's not okay because being thin shouldn't be what you go after. And then at another point, it came back around.

Well, no, it's the type of diet that matters. And that's what is important right now. And It really bothers me a lot. I have to say this. It bothers me a lot when I hear women who are constantly trying one thing, then another, then another, then another, and are always dissatisfied with the results because nothing lasts.

And so I'd love to hear your take on what are we looking for? If we do feel like, I do want to lose some weight because I do feel like if I'm not healthy right now, then what seems reasonable?

[00:02:38] Melissa Rohlfs: yeah, I love that you pointed that out because there are so many mixed messages that we get right like it's do this don't that and you can research and you can find one thing that seems really solid and then you can find something that contradicts it. And so I think the best thing that people can do is listen to their bodies, what works for you.

We are all different. You and I might be in the same season of life, same stage of life, same age, but what works for me isn't going to necessarily work for you because we're different. Our bodies are different. So I think the key is really figuring out what works for you and your unique body type and listening to that instead of the messaging that we're surrounded by that's so loud.

I think it's really kind of going within and getting quiet and saying, what does my body need? How does my body talk to me? What am I looking for when I'm reaching for the chips or the ice cream when I'm not really hungry? Like what's beneath that craving? I think we have kind of done ourselves a disservice in that we don't get curious enough about those things.

And so I think curiosity can be really powerful.

[00:03:35] Dawn Calvinisti: But can we talk a little bit about that whole what's behind things? I, I know most of my listeners have heard me say that when I was younger, I struggled, I yo yoed up and down, up and down in my weight. I tried all kinds of diets, I, I would do really well for a while, then I'd fall off of that.

And For me, there came a point in time about eight years ago where I just realized I am miserable pretty much all the time because all I think about is food. So I know there's other women listening that this is their struggle as well. What, what are we doing? What are we looking for? What is underneath this thing?

[00:04:11] Melissa Rohlfs: Well, your story is very similar to mine. So I totally identify with that. I think for like, I'll just share my own experience. Like a lot of times we identify that we have a craving and so we think that we're hungry. So we'll reach for the food and then we don't feel satisfied because that's not what we really needed.

So I think sometimes a craving can be needing more alone time. It can be needing more social time. It can be, you need to tap into creativity. There's something in your life that's maybe been suppressed that needs to be expressed. I think for me, I was using food to hide the pain and to kind of push things down into stuff and to not deal with it.

So I think it just kind of depends what's going on underneath and asking yourself, what is, what am I looking for here that can really. Kind of shift things because if you're standing in front of kind of pan of brownies like I used to do And it's like i'm not hungry. Why do I keep eating this? You need to ask what am I looking for?

What's really going on?

[00:05:06] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, I think it's interesting too, because many times when we're in the process, it's just like an automatic, right? Like it's an automatic response and we don't, you're, we don't take that time. Like you're saying to say, okay, what is happening in this moment? Why am I feeling this? Why do I continue to go back to this?

And that can be a really uncomfortable situation and conversation, right? It's not, it's not an easy thing to go through.

[00:05:31] Melissa Rohlfs: it's not but I also think that's where the transformation and the change happens because we have to Be aware of what we're doing in order to change We can't change if we're not aware and in tune with what's happening what's really going on We can want to change, but until we're really kind of aware of what we're doing and where that's coming from, because for me, I can tell you, I was eight and things were not good at home and I was hiding all the junk food in my room because that's how I made myself feel better.

So it was a coping mechanism that worked in childhood and it worked until one day it just didn't. And I think at that point, it's time to learn new strategies.

[00:06:04] Dawn Calvinisti: Is there a point in time I'm just thinking again, because we're at the beginning of the year, where if you've tried this before, and those of you who are listening, if you've tried before, and you're back in the same place, or maybe you're in a worse place than before, is there a time where we, we should be looking for outside help with this?

[00:06:25] Melissa Rohlfs: I think all the time, I mean, I don't think we are meant to do this alone. I don't think we are meant to live life alone. And I think life is hard and overwhelming, just like, Being a person is, that way sometimes. And so I think anytime you are doing something and you're not getting the results that you want, or maybe you don't feel encouraged or supported, that's a great time to look for help.

I think the other thing that happens too, that people might not be aware of a sabotage, right? Like we might want to change, but we're afraid that if we change, that we will change the relationships that we have. So if you're married, for example, let's say that you decided to go on this health journey and you want to lose some weight and you want to change your way of eating.

You might be afraid that you're not going to connect with your spouse anymore if you guys connected over food or whatnot because belonging means to be the same as. And so I think that's something that might subconsciously hang people up and we're not aware of it is that we're afraid that if we change, it will change our relationships with those around us that we love and care about and that can feel kind of scary.

So I think support is always great.

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[00:07:23] Dawn Calvinisti: I like that you said that because I think too often especially if we're struggling in this area, we, we push it down and it becomes like the shameful thing, right? That then we then start to hide it or, we eat one way when we're out around people, right? And then we go home and eat totally different.

[00:07:40] Melissa Rohlfs: And then it just perpetuated that shame cycle, right? It was like, Oh, I did so well, but then I ate this. And then there was shame. And then to feel better, I would eat more bad food to help the shame. Like it was just this perpetual cycle. And food is complex. I think that's the other tricky piece is we need it to survive.

It's not like other things that people can be addicted to or struggle with and that they're not necessary. But food is necessary for survival. So I think that makes it even kind of trickier.

[00:08:05] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah. And, and it's interesting too, because I think many, many people that are struggling with this It can feel like, at moments, and I speak from my own experience, it can feel like at moments, like, I have no control, like, it's, I'm actually scared, like, I feel like I am, I am lost in this. I don't know how to fix it.

Is it just going to get worse? How bad will it get? Where do I start? Like, It can be a very intimidating and scary subject because it is so complex, like you said.

[00:08:36] Melissa Rohlfs: 100%. And I think there's also some, like for me, there was some embarrassment. It's like, I don't know how to eat. I don't know how to take care of myself. Like it was kind of like we're supposed to know these things, but how? Nobody's teaching us. We've got diet culture screaming at us to restrict, withhold, shrink, all these things.

Then we've got like all this mixed messaging that we talked about earlier. So how do we know How to tap in and listen to our body. Somebody kind of has to walk with us and teach us how to do that. I think, cause it's not, I think that intuitively that's how we're designed and that's how we're born and that's how we're made, but I think that along the way we get away from that because of various reasons,

[00:09:12] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah. And because my audience tends to be people who struggle with perfectionism and people pleasing and procrastination, all of those P's, this is an area too where perfectionists especially, and I don't know if, people who follow Enneagram, things like that, there's certain Enneagram numbers as well, where we are just more prone to having eating Issues because it's an area that we feel like, like we can control, right?

Although that, that is such a joke, but we feel like we can control it.

[00:09:42] Melissa Rohlfs: yes, because I was there too, right, it was the one thing I could control, not really, but that's what I thought gave me a sense of control. I suppose.

[00:09:51] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah. so Another thing I wanted to ask you about is when we're talking about listening to our bodies, because. In all reality, we are so different. And, and like you said, it doesn't matter if you and your best friend are in the same stage and age of life, we are still different. And what works for me may not work for you. where do we even start when, like when you say, listen to yourself, what are we looking at when it comes to food specifically? What are we looking at that? That says, okay, this is something that's good for me. This is something that maybe isn't my thing. Where, where do we begin? I,

[00:10:28] Melissa Rohlfs: That's a great question. I love to help people figure out which foods energize them and really make them feel great. And then which foods kind of drain their energy. So I think energy can be kind of a telling point. Like, let's say that you're like having that three or four o'clock crash. It might be a good time to be like, Okay, what did I eat today?

Was there something and track it for a few days and then see if there's some common food or ingredient yeah. That is affecting your energy. I think too, there are foods that energize you. They're going to make you feel amazing. They're going to help your, you have more mental clarity. Like food is so important to so many areas of our life beyond just weight.

So I think really kind of journaling and keeping track of things can be important. I think floating can be another sign if a food maybe doesn't agree with you or it doesn't make you feel good. I think too, sugar is associated with like. Blood sugar crashes. And so you're riding that blood sugar roller coaster, which affects our mood.

So I think just kind of journaling and seeing where things sit for you can be a really great starting point. Try different types of protein, try different types of carbs, see what works for your body type. Think of it as a science experiment.

[00:11:31] Dawn Calvinisti: I'm assuming from what you're saying, like you're all for keeping a little bit of a journal or a bit of a a tracker in order to know where things are at and, and going back to that, I'm assuming pretty regularly.

[00:11:42] Melissa Rohlfs: at least in the beginning, just while you're kind of getting a handle on this, because I think it's such a new concept to so many people. We're so used to following, I have to follow this diet plan, and I have to follow this protocol, and I have to follow these numbers, and these points, and these calories, and nope, just let all that go and focus more on the food and how it's affecting you.

So journal that instead of the numbers.

[00:12:03] Dawn Calvinisti: Perfect. So I'm going to ask a question that I'm just going out on a limb here because This still is going on and I still see it thrown out, but like no carbs, like low carbs, no carbs, still. What do you think?

[00:12:17] Melissa Rohlfs: Drags and bananas. Carbs are a macronutrient, meaning your body needs a lot of them. They are a source of energy. I think what happens is we get confused on the types of carbs. So, complex carbs are things like your rice, your grains, your sweet potatoes, your oats. Those are going to help your energy and your mood more, be more stable.

Whereas the, the simple carbs give us the energy crash. These are the chips. Maybe the sugary granola bars, the sugar, the sweets, those are carbs, but it's a different quality of carbs. So I'm all for carbs, but I think the quality matters.

[00:12:54] Dawn Calvinisti: And on that, what do you think when it comes to planning out say a plate of food? Do you have, do you have a suggestion on what we're looking at as far as balance? Because again, I see a lot of different things.

[00:13:09] Melissa Rohlfs: I am so glad you asked. I just made a graphic yesterday. And it is kind of, called the balanced plate. And the suggestion is one third of the plate being high quality protein. The other third of the plate being green vegetables. The other third of the plate being nutrient dense starch or grains. And then one to three tablespoons of high quality fats.

[00:13:33] Dawn Calvinisti: And what is a high quality fat?

[00:13:36] Melissa Rohlfs: Olive oil, avocado oil, nuts, seeds. That's what I'm thinking of right now.

[00:13:44] Dawn Calvinisti: Okay, so I just wanted to break that down because I know somebody's going to be like, okay, but you didn't ask her what that meant. So. So really, and again, most people who have been in this journey for a while have probably heard some of this, or maybe all of this, right? It's not that we're, we have no clue.

[00:14:04] Melissa Rohlfs: Right. Right.

[00:14:05] Dawn Calvinisti: And I think that's where maybe the frustration comes in and the, the shame though, like, why can't I? Because I get what I should put my mouth and what's probably better not to put in too often. And yet I can't help myself. Right. So as we're, as we're starting to track some of these things and putting away, and I'm going to say this, but you can correct me or you can add to it, but putting away like the calorie you know, calorie counters the, the list of meal planning the amount of even macro micronutrients, maybe at the

[00:14:40] Melissa Rohlfs: hmm. Mm hmm.

[00:14:42] Dawn Calvinisti: in order to just, just see and listen and, and feel and check in after you've eaten something instead.

So as we're, we're changing up this process. Are there things that you know, and again, I'm going back to my own struggles, are there things that we're going to hit on in those first, three, five days that makes the struggle harder? And then how do we press on?

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[00:15:07] Melissa Rohlfs: Well, I think being a perfectionist in recovery, like, I think part of it is that, like, we want that perfect, like, protocol to follow. We want to step by step. And this isn't that, like, you're listening to the step by step inside of you, and we've never been taught how to do that. So I think that can be a struggle, is, oh my gosh, am I doing this right?

Right? Like, we kind of doubt ourselves, we wonder, is this right? And I think that's a good point to kind of check in and just say, how do I feel? Am I tired? Did I get enough sleep? Do I need some more nourishment? Like, kind of check in with yourself. Instead of putting it on that list and looking to that for the guide.

Kind of go within. I think that's probably going to be the hardest thing is struggling with thinking that you're not doing it right. Second guessing yourself if you're doing it right, because it's so different than what we've been taught, right? And I think we like that. I like that. Like, put it in a nice little bowl and wrap it up.

I think food

[00:16:01] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, for sure. It, it is, it's part of that personality that, that wants the, the step by step make it simple. I'll just follow it. But the reality, and again, I say this many times, there is no such thing as perfection. It doesn't matter what area of our life we're talking about. It is a moving target. It does not exist.

And you'll always find some way if that is your bent to tell yourself then that you are not good enough, you failed, you can't do it, you're never going to be able to. And why, why do you want to go back into that shame and, and feeling of just unworthiness? And that cycle really has to be broken in every area, which is why.

Again, we're focusing on our, our health this month, because this is yet another area and too, as a recovery perfectionist, we go there, we go there every time.

[00:16:50] Melissa Rohlfs: is kind of the easier way because it's where that all or nothing mentality comes in. It's like, oh, I didn't follow the plan. I'll just eat the whole bag of chips and it'll be okay. I'll start tomorrow. Like, I was the queen of that. It was that all or nothing. I didn't get it perfect, so I'm just gonna give up.

And I think that is like a place where you can pause. And be like, okay, so maybe I overate, my pants feel a little tight, I don't feel comfortable. Acknowledge that. And then just say, okay, what do I want to do going forward? Do I want to eat the chips? Is that going to help me to feel better? Or is that going to make me feel worse and kind of evaluate instead of just instinctively reaching for the food to try to make yourself feel better when you've already feel like you've blown it, which I don't even know what you've blown it anyway.

[00:17:36] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, it's very interesting, the, the thoughts and again, if you're not sure if you're that, that personality or not, pretty quickly, if you just evaluate the thoughts that are coming in. So if you are struggling around the idea of food, and maybe you've already made that plan of how you're going to start out this new year.

And what that's going to look like is there, is there room for grace in that plan? Or is it like this is the plan and the day that that doesn't continue, you're going to be like throwing it all out of the, out of the window or you're going to be berating yourself and then being even more strict tomorrow.

Like it's generally one or the other.

[00:18:12] Melissa Rohlfs: Live there for a long time.

[00:18:14] Dawn Calvinisti: And another thing I wanted to ask a little bit about again, especially if people are trying to make a new plan for this year and, or maybe have already set one up. What right now should we be asking ourselves so that we do have success going forward rather than just continuing because we said we would

[00:18:36] Melissa Rohlfs: I think that's a great question. I think the one question I always love to ask people when we start working together is what conditions do I need to make to set myself up for success? For some people that means clearing clutter because we might feel like there's an area of our life where we just have a lot of clutter and that just overwhelms us and sends us back to the pantry because we feel overwhelmed So if there's a closet that maybe needs clearing out or some shelves or some area in your life that needs that also applies to the calendar.

Do you need to clear some space in your calendar? Because I know I was really good at going back to back to back and not giving myself margin. That doesn't serve anybody. So I think asking yourself what you need to set yourself up for success. And then if there's any clutter that needs to be cleared is a great starting point, because I think it's like furniture, right?

We'll get new furniture, and in order to have that new furniture come in, we need to get rid of the old furniture. So what do you maybe need to get rid of to allow these new habits and new, new ways of thinking and being and living to allow to come in?

[00:19:37] Dawn Calvinisti: thank you so much for this. I think in so much of what you're saying, there's so much more grace and so much more compassion than I think we normally give ourselves, especially in the area of food and eating.

[00:19:50] Melissa Rohlfs: And that is so important, right? Like, I think that was probably the biggest thing on my journey, was I was so judgmental and critical and so, like, almost abusive towards myself with how I thought and what I said to myself. I would never say those things to anybody else. But I think when I learned how to replace that judgment with curiosity and start asking questions instead of berating myself.

That was really powerful. So I think the grace and the compassion and the curiosity and like loving yourself is really important on changing because you're not going to like harass or beat anybody into changing. Nobody ever changes that way, right? So I don't think that that's really the way to do it.

So Thank you for acknowledging that because those things are really important and I don't think they're talked about enough.

[00:20:34] Dawn Calvinisti: One thing you just said that I would like us to just talk about for a moment is if you are concerned about somebody else's eating, because I hear this a lot too, my spouse, my partner, my child, whatever. And so you maybe feel like you will control their eating or you will point out things about their eating.

What are some thoughts around what we can do to support other people?

[00:20:59] Melissa Rohlfs: I think meeting them where they're at is really powerful. One thing I learned when I went to school to become a coach is this concept of mapping where we all have kind of our own maps. And so it's really important to get onto other people's map and try to see things from their perspective and their point of view and really meet them where they're at instead of expecting them to be on our map and be where we're at because we're here and there.

They're like, I think there's something powerful about. Asking questions and trying to understand another person's perspective, especially around food and maybe help them become more aware of the choices they're making. Because I think we change when it comes from within. We don't, that's where the lasting change comes from.

So I think, just helping people bring awareness to that and getting curious and meeting them where they're at is really powerful.

[00:21:42] Dawn Calvinisti: And I ask every single guest that comes on the show this question. Are you more often a people pleaser, a perfectionist, or a procrastinator?

[00:21:52] Melissa Rohlfs: Well, I'm not a procrastinator. I can tell you that. I was that girl in college who liked to get papers weeks in advance because I did not want to be stressed at the last moment. I think the perfectionism and the people pleasing are both a tie. I think, I think lately it's probably been more perfectionism, but don't you think they're connected?

I mean, I can't really like analyze this and go deeper, but to answer your question, I will say perfectionism.

[00:22:17] Dawn Calvinisti: And yes, yes, I do. I talk all the time that those three are often totally connected. And so all of them run under the umbrella of perfectionism. So, so it doesn't surprise me that you feel like they are both, equal. And I think it is interesting too, and this is why I ask every guest. Is if, if that is our bent, if we tend to go to that thing and we can call ourselves a recovering perfection or recovering people, please, or whatever, but the reality is, if that's our bent, it's always going to be something that crops up depending on the situation, the trauma, the, the thing that happened yesterday or this morning or the conversation and we all have to continue working.

with it, the good points with them, and also with the hard points. So I like hearing when somebody says, yeah, actually, these two are pretty equal for me.

[00:23:03] Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah. And it's interesting. I read once that perfectionism is rooted in shame, like that's kind of the root of it or it can be. And that is really interesting. I don't know. Again, I think it kind of goes back to food, but like we want to be perfect and have this perfect plate and this perfect meal. And then if we don't do that because of the shame, it just creates this cycle.

So it's fascinating to think about it and digest and process it all.

[00:23:27] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, it really is. And if this is your first time maybe hearing this from a different perspective, then take take maybe a closer look at what is going on with you and your thoughts, especially because it really does start there. It doesn't start with what we put in our mouth. It's something before that every time.

Every time and every choice we make whether it's food or anything else, it starts in our thoughts. And so I would love for you to, to take Melissa's advice and start to ask yourself questions. What's feeling good? What is behind this? Why am I choosing this? And go back and even listen to this again.

If you have friends or family members that you do want to support, and they're interested in this, just pointing that out, you might want to pass on this episode. MeLissa, where can people find you if they'd like to know more?

[00:24:13] Melissa Rohlfs: My website is free, the number two, the letter B coaching. com so free to be coaching. com that has all my social channels, some freebies, some information, all the things right there.

[00:24:24] Dawn Calvinisti: And I know that you're giving us the ultimate guide to feel good without food that will be in the show notes if you want to grab that there and also all of Melissa's contact info. Can you tell us a little bit about the guide?

[00:24:36] Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, it's just a great starting place because I think sometimes we feel like. Oh, my goodness. I realized, maybe I was turning to food to feel good and you want to stop, but you don't know what to do. So it's kind of a nice step by step as to where do I start? What are some other things I can do?

Because if that's what you know, and all that you're used to trying to come up with something else can be kind of daunting. So it's a nice guide to just kind of give you other alternatives to feel good without turning to food. I just want people to

[00:25:01] Dawn Calvinisti: Is there anything else that you would like to leave with our listeners as we kick off this new year?

[00:25:06] Melissa Rohlfs: can change. Like, I think that so many times we believe that we can't change, or that this is how it's always been, or this is how it always was, or this is my family, or this is just who I am. And those beliefs and thoughts kind of keep us stuck. So I want to encourage you to open up to the possibilities that you can change.

It can be different. You don't have to start at the beginning of the new year. Like, let's say that you've listened to this, you've started in a month or two down the road, you maybe aren't where you want to be. It's okay. You don't need to wait until the next new year. Like, just start. You can do this. You can change.

It's possible for you.

[00:25:38] Dawn Calvinisti: Oh, I love that. Yeah. I mean, every day is a new day and we definitely don't have to set ourselves up for like, this is the time, the date or, everything else goes out the window.

[00:25:48] Melissa Rohlfs: Not ever going to be perfect.

[00:25:50] Dawn Calvinisti: That's right. Thank you so much for joining me today, Melissa. I so appreciate your wisdom and just discussing this so openly.

[00:25:57] Melissa Rohlfs: Thank you for having me. It was great conversation.

 [DAWN CALVINISTI]

Thanks for listening to today's show. If you found value in what you heard, please share it with a friend and rate and review us on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps get us out to other women who could benefit from listening. 

Check out our show notes for details from the show and to connect with me or our guests. Want to continue the conversation? My website is www.pursueprogress.com or DM me @pursueprogresswithdawn on Instagram. 

Until next week, pursue progress no matter how imperfectly.

CONNECT WITH DAWN:

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CONNECT WITH MELISSA:

Website: https://www.free2bcoaching.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelissaRohlfsCoach

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Free Gift: The Ultimate Guide to Feel Good Without Food

Link to Free Gift: https://mailchi.mp/free2bcoaching/happy-eater

OTHER RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS PODCAST:

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Book Your Free 30 Minute Strategy Call with the host, Dawn Calvinisti: https://link.theviphub.ca/widget/bookings/dawncalvinisti/strategy

Coming from a background of natural health Dawn has owned multiple businesses as a doula, a childbirth educator, a homeopath and eventually an essential oil based network marketing business.

Dawn spent 7 years building this business to multiple six-figures and reached the top 3% of leaders in just under 3 years.

As a recovering people-pleaser, perfectionist and procrastinator herself, Dawn created online  summits for women who want to move away from these 3 P’s and find more joy and less stress in life.

She has spoken internationally on multiple podcasts and online summits to inspire women to put themselves on their to-do list without apology. To bring her message to even more women, she launched her podcast “Imperfection in Progress” in January 2023 with a membership site to create community and provide accountability.

Dawn Calvinisti

Coming from a background of natural health Dawn has owned multiple businesses as a doula, a childbirth educator, a homeopath and eventually an essential oil based network marketing business. Dawn spent 7 years building this business to multiple six-figures and reached the top 3% of leaders in just under 3 years. As a recovering people-pleaser, perfectionist and procrastinator herself, Dawn created online summits for women who want to move away from these 3 P’s and find more joy and less stress in life. She has spoken internationally on multiple podcasts and online summits to inspire women to put themselves on their to-do list without apology. To bring her message to even more women, she launched her podcast “Imperfection in Progress” in January 2023 with a membership site to create community and provide accountability.

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How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Food with Melissa Rohlfs

January 10, 202433 min read

Every day is a new opportunity to do something. It doesn't have to be the beginning of the year. And so I think, just acknowledging - What do you want? What do you need? And what are you willing to do to make it happen? - can be really powerful. - Melissa Rohlfs

CLICK HERE FOR FULL EPISODE

How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Food with Melissa Rohlfs

[DAWN CALVINISTI]

Welcome to Imperfection in Progress, a podcast for ambitious women who are people-pleasers, perfectionists, or procrastinators. Want to feel less stress and more joy in your life? Then this is for you. I’m your host Dawn Calvinisti.

Today’s podcast episode is with Melissa Rohlfs. Melissa is a certified holistic health and life coach helping busy moms and teen girls find freedom from the struggle with food, so they can be at peace with food, their bodies and their lives. She is committed to empowering women to break free from dieting, emotional eating and self-image issues so they can ditch the diet mentality, and feel empowered in their own skin.

After her own tumultuous history with food {withholding and then later in life, bingeing}, she learned how to deal with the core issues around her broken relationship with food. As a result, she felt called to go to school and learn to teach other women how to do the same. She graduated from the Health Coach Institute as a Holistic Health and Life Coach in 2018 and is the proud owner of Free 2 B Coaching. She is a proud Purdue alumna living in Arizona with her husband, Chad and two kiddos.

With January often being the start of some type of health resolution I knew Melissa would help us truly see things from a different perspective. We talk about the conflicting advice around weight loss. We also jump into the link between food and emotions.

If you struggle with emotional eating or setting up healthy habits then this episode will give you some great places to start. I hope you will take time to do some self-reflection after listening.

Here’s our conversation.

diet and food struggles

Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Dawn Calvinisti: I am super excited to welcome Melissa Rolfs here today. Thank you so much for being on the podcast.

[00:00:06] Melissa Rohlfs: Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

[00:00:09] Dawn Calvinisti: When I said that in January, we would be talking about all things health. One area that I know was really popular last year was when we chatted about diets and losing weight and New Year's resolutions. And this is that time of year where people either are already like, All or nothing into it, or they've already given up.

It's kind of either or. And I would love to hear from your perspective, like this whole thing about today I'm going to, kick off this year differently. I'm going to lose 10 pounds in a month. All of that kind of stuff. Let's just dive right in because I think we both are pretty passionate about what real health looks like and, kind of what's out there telling us we need to be.

[00:00:51] Melissa Rohlfs: Okay, here we go. I think you're so right and you nailed so many things, Dawn, because it's not like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna accomplish this ridiculous goal because I think the key thing is to make sure your goal is realistic and attainable and 10 pounds in a month, probably not the most realistic, maybe shoot for eight, that's about two a week.

But I think making sure that you have a goal that's realistic and that is setting yourself up for success is key because I think. What we do, right. It's like, we're, we have October, we have Halloween and then we have Thanksgiving and then we have Christmas and we have all these holidays. And then it's like, all of a sudden we flip the calendar and we got, I need to do something.

Well, every day is a new opportunity to do something. It doesn't have to be the beginning of the year. And so I think, just acknowledging like, what do you want? What do you need? And what are you willing to do to make it happen can be really powerful. And it doesn't have to necessarily be January 1st.

Yeah,

[00:01:47] Dawn Calvinisti: I like that, the whole idea of again, it's, it's this topic where I feel like at one point it was okay to say that you wanted to lose weight. Then there came another point where it's like, well, that's not okay because being thin shouldn't be what you go after. And then at another point, it came back around.

Well, no, it's the type of diet that matters. And that's what is important right now. And It really bothers me a lot. I have to say this. It bothers me a lot when I hear women who are constantly trying one thing, then another, then another, then another, and are always dissatisfied with the results because nothing lasts.

And so I'd love to hear your take on what are we looking for? If we do feel like, I do want to lose some weight because I do feel like if I'm not healthy right now, then what seems reasonable?

[00:02:38] Melissa Rohlfs: yeah, I love that you pointed that out because there are so many mixed messages that we get right like it's do this don't that and you can research and you can find one thing that seems really solid and then you can find something that contradicts it. And so I think the best thing that people can do is listen to their bodies, what works for you.

We are all different. You and I might be in the same season of life, same stage of life, same age, but what works for me isn't going to necessarily work for you because we're different. Our bodies are different. So I think the key is really figuring out what works for you and your unique body type and listening to that instead of the messaging that we're surrounded by that's so loud.

I think it's really kind of going within and getting quiet and saying, what does my body need? How does my body talk to me? What am I looking for when I'm reaching for the chips or the ice cream when I'm not really hungry? Like what's beneath that craving? I think we have kind of done ourselves a disservice in that we don't get curious enough about those things.

And so I think curiosity can be really powerful.

[00:03:35] Dawn Calvinisti: But can we talk a little bit about that whole what's behind things? I, I know most of my listeners have heard me say that when I was younger, I struggled, I yo yoed up and down, up and down in my weight. I tried all kinds of diets, I, I would do really well for a while, then I'd fall off of that.

And For me, there came a point in time about eight years ago where I just realized I am miserable pretty much all the time because all I think about is food. So I know there's other women listening that this is their struggle as well. What, what are we doing? What are we looking for? What is underneath this thing?

[00:04:11] Melissa Rohlfs: Well, your story is very similar to mine. So I totally identify with that. I think for like, I'll just share my own experience. Like a lot of times we identify that we have a craving and so we think that we're hungry. So we'll reach for the food and then we don't feel satisfied because that's not what we really needed.

So I think sometimes a craving can be needing more alone time. It can be needing more social time. It can be, you need to tap into creativity. There's something in your life that's maybe been suppressed that needs to be expressed. I think for me, I was using food to hide the pain and to kind of push things down into stuff and to not deal with it.

So I think it just kind of depends what's going on underneath and asking yourself, what is, what am I looking for here that can really. Kind of shift things because if you're standing in front of kind of pan of brownies like I used to do And it's like i'm not hungry. Why do I keep eating this? You need to ask what am I looking for?

What's really going on?

[00:05:06] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, I think it's interesting too, because many times when we're in the process, it's just like an automatic, right? Like it's an automatic response and we don't, you're, we don't take that time. Like you're saying to say, okay, what is happening in this moment? Why am I feeling this? Why do I continue to go back to this?

And that can be a really uncomfortable situation and conversation, right? It's not, it's not an easy thing to go through.

[00:05:31] Melissa Rohlfs: it's not but I also think that's where the transformation and the change happens because we have to Be aware of what we're doing in order to change We can't change if we're not aware and in tune with what's happening what's really going on We can want to change, but until we're really kind of aware of what we're doing and where that's coming from, because for me, I can tell you, I was eight and things were not good at home and I was hiding all the junk food in my room because that's how I made myself feel better.

So it was a coping mechanism that worked in childhood and it worked until one day it just didn't. And I think at that point, it's time to learn new strategies.

[00:06:04] Dawn Calvinisti: Is there a point in time I'm just thinking again, because we're at the beginning of the year, where if you've tried this before, and those of you who are listening, if you've tried before, and you're back in the same place, or maybe you're in a worse place than before, is there a time where we, we should be looking for outside help with this?

[00:06:25] Melissa Rohlfs: I think all the time, I mean, I don't think we are meant to do this alone. I don't think we are meant to live life alone. And I think life is hard and overwhelming, just like, Being a person is, that way sometimes. And so I think anytime you are doing something and you're not getting the results that you want, or maybe you don't feel encouraged or supported, that's a great time to look for help.

I think the other thing that happens too, that people might not be aware of a sabotage, right? Like we might want to change, but we're afraid that if we change, that we will change the relationships that we have. So if you're married, for example, let's say that you decided to go on this health journey and you want to lose some weight and you want to change your way of eating.

You might be afraid that you're not going to connect with your spouse anymore if you guys connected over food or whatnot because belonging means to be the same as. And so I think that's something that might subconsciously hang people up and we're not aware of it is that we're afraid that if we change, it will change our relationships with those around us that we love and care about and that can feel kind of scary.

So I think support is always great.

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[00:07:23] Dawn Calvinisti: I like that you said that because I think too often especially if we're struggling in this area, we, we push it down and it becomes like the shameful thing, right? That then we then start to hide it or, we eat one way when we're out around people, right? And then we go home and eat totally different.

[00:07:40] Melissa Rohlfs: And then it just perpetuated that shame cycle, right? It was like, Oh, I did so well, but then I ate this. And then there was shame. And then to feel better, I would eat more bad food to help the shame. Like it was just this perpetual cycle. And food is complex. I think that's the other tricky piece is we need it to survive.

It's not like other things that people can be addicted to or struggle with and that they're not necessary. But food is necessary for survival. So I think that makes it even kind of trickier.

[00:08:05] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah. And, and it's interesting too, because I think many, many people that are struggling with this It can feel like, at moments, and I speak from my own experience, it can feel like at moments, like, I have no control, like, it's, I'm actually scared, like, I feel like I am, I am lost in this. I don't know how to fix it.

Is it just going to get worse? How bad will it get? Where do I start? Like, It can be a very intimidating and scary subject because it is so complex, like you said.

[00:08:36] Melissa Rohlfs: 100%. And I think there's also some, like for me, there was some embarrassment. It's like, I don't know how to eat. I don't know how to take care of myself. Like it was kind of like we're supposed to know these things, but how? Nobody's teaching us. We've got diet culture screaming at us to restrict, withhold, shrink, all these things.

Then we've got like all this mixed messaging that we talked about earlier. So how do we know How to tap in and listen to our body. Somebody kind of has to walk with us and teach us how to do that. I think, cause it's not, I think that intuitively that's how we're designed and that's how we're born and that's how we're made, but I think that along the way we get away from that because of various reasons,

[00:09:12] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah. And because my audience tends to be people who struggle with perfectionism and people pleasing and procrastination, all of those P's, this is an area too where perfectionists especially, and I don't know if, people who follow Enneagram, things like that, there's certain Enneagram numbers as well, where we are just more prone to having eating Issues because it's an area that we feel like, like we can control, right?

Although that, that is such a joke, but we feel like we can control it.

[00:09:42] Melissa Rohlfs: yes, because I was there too, right, it was the one thing I could control, not really, but that's what I thought gave me a sense of control. I suppose.

[00:09:51] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah. so Another thing I wanted to ask you about is when we're talking about listening to our bodies, because. In all reality, we are so different. And, and like you said, it doesn't matter if you and your best friend are in the same stage and age of life, we are still different. And what works for me may not work for you. where do we even start when, like when you say, listen to yourself, what are we looking at when it comes to food specifically? What are we looking at that? That says, okay, this is something that's good for me. This is something that maybe isn't my thing. Where, where do we begin? I,

[00:10:28] Melissa Rohlfs: That's a great question. I love to help people figure out which foods energize them and really make them feel great. And then which foods kind of drain their energy. So I think energy can be kind of a telling point. Like, let's say that you're like having that three or four o'clock crash. It might be a good time to be like, Okay, what did I eat today?

Was there something and track it for a few days and then see if there's some common food or ingredient yeah. That is affecting your energy. I think too, there are foods that energize you. They're going to make you feel amazing. They're going to help your, you have more mental clarity. Like food is so important to so many areas of our life beyond just weight.

So I think really kind of journaling and keeping track of things can be important. I think floating can be another sign if a food maybe doesn't agree with you or it doesn't make you feel good. I think too, sugar is associated with like. Blood sugar crashes. And so you're riding that blood sugar roller coaster, which affects our mood.

So I think just kind of journaling and seeing where things sit for you can be a really great starting point. Try different types of protein, try different types of carbs, see what works for your body type. Think of it as a science experiment.

[00:11:31] Dawn Calvinisti: I'm assuming from what you're saying, like you're all for keeping a little bit of a journal or a bit of a a tracker in order to know where things are at and, and going back to that, I'm assuming pretty regularly.

[00:11:42] Melissa Rohlfs: at least in the beginning, just while you're kind of getting a handle on this, because I think it's such a new concept to so many people. We're so used to following, I have to follow this diet plan, and I have to follow this protocol, and I have to follow these numbers, and these points, and these calories, and nope, just let all that go and focus more on the food and how it's affecting you.

So journal that instead of the numbers.

[00:12:03] Dawn Calvinisti: Perfect. So I'm going to ask a question that I'm just going out on a limb here because This still is going on and I still see it thrown out, but like no carbs, like low carbs, no carbs, still. What do you think?

[00:12:17] Melissa Rohlfs: Drags and bananas. Carbs are a macronutrient, meaning your body needs a lot of them. They are a source of energy. I think what happens is we get confused on the types of carbs. So, complex carbs are things like your rice, your grains, your sweet potatoes, your oats. Those are going to help your energy and your mood more, be more stable.

Whereas the, the simple carbs give us the energy crash. These are the chips. Maybe the sugary granola bars, the sugar, the sweets, those are carbs, but it's a different quality of carbs. So I'm all for carbs, but I think the quality matters.

[00:12:54] Dawn Calvinisti: And on that, what do you think when it comes to planning out say a plate of food? Do you have, do you have a suggestion on what we're looking at as far as balance? Because again, I see a lot of different things.

[00:13:09] Melissa Rohlfs: I am so glad you asked. I just made a graphic yesterday. And it is kind of, called the balanced plate. And the suggestion is one third of the plate being high quality protein. The other third of the plate being green vegetables. The other third of the plate being nutrient dense starch or grains. And then one to three tablespoons of high quality fats.

[00:13:33] Dawn Calvinisti: And what is a high quality fat?

[00:13:36] Melissa Rohlfs: Olive oil, avocado oil, nuts, seeds. That's what I'm thinking of right now.

[00:13:44] Dawn Calvinisti: Okay, so I just wanted to break that down because I know somebody's going to be like, okay, but you didn't ask her what that meant. So. So really, and again, most people who have been in this journey for a while have probably heard some of this, or maybe all of this, right? It's not that we're, we have no clue.

[00:14:04] Melissa Rohlfs: Right. Right.

[00:14:05] Dawn Calvinisti: And I think that's where maybe the frustration comes in and the, the shame though, like, why can't I? Because I get what I should put my mouth and what's probably better not to put in too often. And yet I can't help myself. Right. So as we're, as we're starting to track some of these things and putting away, and I'm going to say this, but you can correct me or you can add to it, but putting away like the calorie you know, calorie counters the, the list of meal planning the amount of even macro micronutrients, maybe at the

[00:14:40] Melissa Rohlfs: hmm. Mm hmm.

[00:14:42] Dawn Calvinisti: in order to just, just see and listen and, and feel and check in after you've eaten something instead.

So as we're, we're changing up this process. Are there things that you know, and again, I'm going back to my own struggles, are there things that we're going to hit on in those first, three, five days that makes the struggle harder? And then how do we press on?

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[00:15:07] Melissa Rohlfs: Well, I think being a perfectionist in recovery, like, I think part of it is that, like, we want that perfect, like, protocol to follow. We want to step by step. And this isn't that, like, you're listening to the step by step inside of you, and we've never been taught how to do that. So I think that can be a struggle, is, oh my gosh, am I doing this right?

Right? Like, we kind of doubt ourselves, we wonder, is this right? And I think that's a good point to kind of check in and just say, how do I feel? Am I tired? Did I get enough sleep? Do I need some more nourishment? Like, kind of check in with yourself. Instead of putting it on that list and looking to that for the guide.

Kind of go within. I think that's probably going to be the hardest thing is struggling with thinking that you're not doing it right. Second guessing yourself if you're doing it right, because it's so different than what we've been taught, right? And I think we like that. I like that. Like, put it in a nice little bowl and wrap it up.

I think food

[00:16:01] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, for sure. It, it is, it's part of that personality that, that wants the, the step by step make it simple. I'll just follow it. But the reality, and again, I say this many times, there is no such thing as perfection. It doesn't matter what area of our life we're talking about. It is a moving target. It does not exist.

And you'll always find some way if that is your bent to tell yourself then that you are not good enough, you failed, you can't do it, you're never going to be able to. And why, why do you want to go back into that shame and, and feeling of just unworthiness? And that cycle really has to be broken in every area, which is why.

Again, we're focusing on our, our health this month, because this is yet another area and too, as a recovery perfectionist, we go there, we go there every time.

[00:16:50] Melissa Rohlfs: is kind of the easier way because it's where that all or nothing mentality comes in. It's like, oh, I didn't follow the plan. I'll just eat the whole bag of chips and it'll be okay. I'll start tomorrow. Like, I was the queen of that. It was that all or nothing. I didn't get it perfect, so I'm just gonna give up.

And I think that is like a place where you can pause. And be like, okay, so maybe I overate, my pants feel a little tight, I don't feel comfortable. Acknowledge that. And then just say, okay, what do I want to do going forward? Do I want to eat the chips? Is that going to help me to feel better? Or is that going to make me feel worse and kind of evaluate instead of just instinctively reaching for the food to try to make yourself feel better when you've already feel like you've blown it, which I don't even know what you've blown it anyway.

[00:17:36] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, it's very interesting, the, the thoughts and again, if you're not sure if you're that, that personality or not, pretty quickly, if you just evaluate the thoughts that are coming in. So if you are struggling around the idea of food, and maybe you've already made that plan of how you're going to start out this new year.

And what that's going to look like is there, is there room for grace in that plan? Or is it like this is the plan and the day that that doesn't continue, you're going to be like throwing it all out of the, out of the window or you're going to be berating yourself and then being even more strict tomorrow.

Like it's generally one or the other.

[00:18:12] Melissa Rohlfs: Live there for a long time.

[00:18:14] Dawn Calvinisti: And another thing I wanted to ask a little bit about again, especially if people are trying to make a new plan for this year and, or maybe have already set one up. What right now should we be asking ourselves so that we do have success going forward rather than just continuing because we said we would

[00:18:36] Melissa Rohlfs: I think that's a great question. I think the one question I always love to ask people when we start working together is what conditions do I need to make to set myself up for success? For some people that means clearing clutter because we might feel like there's an area of our life where we just have a lot of clutter and that just overwhelms us and sends us back to the pantry because we feel overwhelmed So if there's a closet that maybe needs clearing out or some shelves or some area in your life that needs that also applies to the calendar.

Do you need to clear some space in your calendar? Because I know I was really good at going back to back to back and not giving myself margin. That doesn't serve anybody. So I think asking yourself what you need to set yourself up for success. And then if there's any clutter that needs to be cleared is a great starting point, because I think it's like furniture, right?

We'll get new furniture, and in order to have that new furniture come in, we need to get rid of the old furniture. So what do you maybe need to get rid of to allow these new habits and new, new ways of thinking and being and living to allow to come in?

[00:19:37] Dawn Calvinisti: thank you so much for this. I think in so much of what you're saying, there's so much more grace and so much more compassion than I think we normally give ourselves, especially in the area of food and eating.

[00:19:50] Melissa Rohlfs: And that is so important, right? Like, I think that was probably the biggest thing on my journey, was I was so judgmental and critical and so, like, almost abusive towards myself with how I thought and what I said to myself. I would never say those things to anybody else. But I think when I learned how to replace that judgment with curiosity and start asking questions instead of berating myself.

That was really powerful. So I think the grace and the compassion and the curiosity and like loving yourself is really important on changing because you're not going to like harass or beat anybody into changing. Nobody ever changes that way, right? So I don't think that that's really the way to do it.

So Thank you for acknowledging that because those things are really important and I don't think they're talked about enough.

[00:20:34] Dawn Calvinisti: One thing you just said that I would like us to just talk about for a moment is if you are concerned about somebody else's eating, because I hear this a lot too, my spouse, my partner, my child, whatever. And so you maybe feel like you will control their eating or you will point out things about their eating.

What are some thoughts around what we can do to support other people?

[00:20:59] Melissa Rohlfs: I think meeting them where they're at is really powerful. One thing I learned when I went to school to become a coach is this concept of mapping where we all have kind of our own maps. And so it's really important to get onto other people's map and try to see things from their perspective and their point of view and really meet them where they're at instead of expecting them to be on our map and be where we're at because we're here and there.

They're like, I think there's something powerful about. Asking questions and trying to understand another person's perspective, especially around food and maybe help them become more aware of the choices they're making. Because I think we change when it comes from within. We don't, that's where the lasting change comes from.

So I think, just helping people bring awareness to that and getting curious and meeting them where they're at is really powerful.

[00:21:42] Dawn Calvinisti: And I ask every single guest that comes on the show this question. Are you more often a people pleaser, a perfectionist, or a procrastinator?

[00:21:52] Melissa Rohlfs: Well, I'm not a procrastinator. I can tell you that. I was that girl in college who liked to get papers weeks in advance because I did not want to be stressed at the last moment. I think the perfectionism and the people pleasing are both a tie. I think, I think lately it's probably been more perfectionism, but don't you think they're connected?

I mean, I can't really like analyze this and go deeper, but to answer your question, I will say perfectionism.

[00:22:17] Dawn Calvinisti: And yes, yes, I do. I talk all the time that those three are often totally connected. And so all of them run under the umbrella of perfectionism. So, so it doesn't surprise me that you feel like they are both, equal. And I think it is interesting too, and this is why I ask every guest. Is if, if that is our bent, if we tend to go to that thing and we can call ourselves a recovering perfection or recovering people, please, or whatever, but the reality is, if that's our bent, it's always going to be something that crops up depending on the situation, the trauma, the, the thing that happened yesterday or this morning or the conversation and we all have to continue working.

with it, the good points with them, and also with the hard points. So I like hearing when somebody says, yeah, actually, these two are pretty equal for me.

[00:23:03] Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah. And it's interesting. I read once that perfectionism is rooted in shame, like that's kind of the root of it or it can be. And that is really interesting. I don't know. Again, I think it kind of goes back to food, but like we want to be perfect and have this perfect plate and this perfect meal. And then if we don't do that because of the shame, it just creates this cycle.

So it's fascinating to think about it and digest and process it all.

[00:23:27] Dawn Calvinisti: Yeah, it really is. And if this is your first time maybe hearing this from a different perspective, then take take maybe a closer look at what is going on with you and your thoughts, especially because it really does start there. It doesn't start with what we put in our mouth. It's something before that every time.

Every time and every choice we make whether it's food or anything else, it starts in our thoughts. And so I would love for you to, to take Melissa's advice and start to ask yourself questions. What's feeling good? What is behind this? Why am I choosing this? And go back and even listen to this again.

If you have friends or family members that you do want to support, and they're interested in this, just pointing that out, you might want to pass on this episode. MeLissa, where can people find you if they'd like to know more?

[00:24:13] Melissa Rohlfs: My website is free, the number two, the letter B coaching. com so free to be coaching. com that has all my social channels, some freebies, some information, all the things right there.

[00:24:24] Dawn Calvinisti: And I know that you're giving us the ultimate guide to feel good without food that will be in the show notes if you want to grab that there and also all of Melissa's contact info. Can you tell us a little bit about the guide?

[00:24:36] Melissa Rohlfs: Yeah, it's just a great starting place because I think sometimes we feel like. Oh, my goodness. I realized, maybe I was turning to food to feel good and you want to stop, but you don't know what to do. So it's kind of a nice step by step as to where do I start? What are some other things I can do?

Because if that's what you know, and all that you're used to trying to come up with something else can be kind of daunting. So it's a nice guide to just kind of give you other alternatives to feel good without turning to food. I just want people to

[00:25:01] Dawn Calvinisti: Is there anything else that you would like to leave with our listeners as we kick off this new year?

[00:25:06] Melissa Rohlfs: can change. Like, I think that so many times we believe that we can't change, or that this is how it's always been, or this is how it always was, or this is my family, or this is just who I am. And those beliefs and thoughts kind of keep us stuck. So I want to encourage you to open up to the possibilities that you can change.

It can be different. You don't have to start at the beginning of the new year. Like, let's say that you've listened to this, you've started in a month or two down the road, you maybe aren't where you want to be. It's okay. You don't need to wait until the next new year. Like, just start. You can do this. You can change.

It's possible for you.

[00:25:38] Dawn Calvinisti: Oh, I love that. Yeah. I mean, every day is a new day and we definitely don't have to set ourselves up for like, this is the time, the date or, everything else goes out the window.

[00:25:48] Melissa Rohlfs: Not ever going to be perfect.

[00:25:50] Dawn Calvinisti: That's right. Thank you so much for joining me today, Melissa. I so appreciate your wisdom and just discussing this so openly.

[00:25:57] Melissa Rohlfs: Thank you for having me. It was great conversation.

 [DAWN CALVINISTI]

Thanks for listening to today's show. If you found value in what you heard, please share it with a friend and rate and review us on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps get us out to other women who could benefit from listening. 

Check out our show notes for details from the show and to connect with me or our guests. Want to continue the conversation? My website is www.pursueprogress.com or DM me @pursueprogresswithdawn on Instagram. 

Until next week, pursue progress no matter how imperfectly.

CONNECT WITH DAWN:

Website: https://pursueprogress.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pursueprogresswithdawn

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/pursueprogresswithdawn

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/imperfectioninprogress

Imperfection in Progress Podcast: https://pursueprogress.com/podcast

Grab your 200 Affirmations for the 3 P’s here: https://www.pursueprogress.com/affirmationspodcast

CONNECT WITH MELISSA:

Website: https://www.free2bcoaching.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelissaRohlfsCoach

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/free2b_coaching/

Free Gift: The Ultimate Guide to Feel Good Without Food

Link to Free Gift: https://mailchi.mp/free2bcoaching/happy-eater

OTHER RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS PODCAST:

Umbrella Virtual Solutions: https://www.umbrellavs.com

Book Your Free 30 Minute Strategy Call with the host, Dawn Calvinisti: https://link.theviphub.ca/widget/bookings/dawncalvinisti/strategy

Coming from a background of natural health Dawn has owned multiple businesses as a doula, a childbirth educator, a homeopath and eventually an essential oil based network marketing business.

Dawn spent 7 years building this business to multiple six-figures and reached the top 3% of leaders in just under 3 years.

As a recovering people-pleaser, perfectionist and procrastinator herself, Dawn created online  summits for women who want to move away from these 3 P’s and find more joy and less stress in life.

She has spoken internationally on multiple podcasts and online summits to inspire women to put themselves on their to-do list without apology. To bring her message to even more women, she launched her podcast “Imperfection in Progress” in January 2023 with a membership site to create community and provide accountability.

Dawn Calvinisti

Coming from a background of natural health Dawn has owned multiple businesses as a doula, a childbirth educator, a homeopath and eventually an essential oil based network marketing business. Dawn spent 7 years building this business to multiple six-figures and reached the top 3% of leaders in just under 3 years. As a recovering people-pleaser, perfectionist and procrastinator herself, Dawn created online summits for women who want to move away from these 3 P’s and find more joy and less stress in life. She has spoken internationally on multiple podcasts and online summits to inspire women to put themselves on their to-do list without apology. To bring her message to even more women, she launched her podcast “Imperfection in Progress” in January 2023 with a membership site to create community and provide accountability.

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